The Fat Doctor Podcast

Coming Out As Fat with Ross Anderson-Doherty

• Dr Asher Larmie • Season 5 • Episode 21

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Coming out as fat is harder than coming out as transgender, at least in our experience. When performer and cabaret artist Ross Anderson-Doherty refused to pursue weight loss as medical treatment, their healthcare became a weapon of punishment rather than care. In this raw conversation, we explore how medical fatphobia intersects with transphobia, classism, and ableism to create devastating trauma that nearly destroyed one person's will to live. Ross's journey from medical neglect to triumphant revenge reveals the urgent need to recognize healthcare discrimination as the trauma it truly is. 

 You can catch Ross performing at the Cabaret Supper Club in Belfast. Be sure to follow them on Tik Tok and Instagram - you’d be a fool not to! 

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# Episode 21: Coming Out as Fat with Ross Anderson-Doherty

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Hi everyone, welcome to the Fat Doctor podcast. I'm thinking it's episode 21. I'm not sure. I'm not sure that I care either. It's something like that.

It's already a good start, isn't it Ross? I'm very excited to welcome back a good friend of mine, someone whom I absolutely adore, and who has been cracking me up on Instagram lately. We're going to have to talk about those videos because they're hilarious. But welcome back to the show, Ross Anderson-Doherty. I can't say it. I don't know why. It just really frustrates me. Go on, say it properly.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** The Doherty bit.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Yeah, but say it with the accent, you know, because it's...

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Ross Anderson-Doherty.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Yeah, it's meant to be said like that. You see, that's the problem.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** It's a tricky one for non-Irish people to say.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Right, because it's that kind of... I'm not even sure I can do the... It's that the H.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Sort of west of the Bann in the north of Ireland, it just becomes Doherty.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Does it just miss a...

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Where my partner's from, he would get called Dorts.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Yes, Dorts, what's the craic.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Oh dear, right? Well, okay, good. We already fumbled the pronunciation. I just get really worked up about these things. But anyway...

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** I didn't fumble it. You said it perfectly.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Now he's being gracious. So I've known Ross for several years. I first sort of... I think I found you on Instagram, and was just like, "Who is this person? I must befriend this person." And you are a performer, and I should get this right - creative director. Is that the correct...?

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Director, artistic director, yep.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Okay.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Library Club at Scadbury Supper Club, in Belfast.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** And it's amazing. Every time I look at the website I'm like, "Oh my gosh, this looks like so much fun." I've got no excuse not to go to Belfast now - we're so close. So that's part of what you do. We're going to be talking a little bit about being fat and trans, non-binary, and all sorts of other deliciousness. But I'm not going to do that thing where I make you introduce yourself, because that's just cringy. But maybe you want to offer a sort of warm up the audience, Ross, because you're really good at doing that. So can you warm up the audience for us?

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** We'll just own it, and I'll do a brief introduction of myself. So, hi guys, I'm Ross. I am a non-binary person. I am - for those who can't see me, if you're listening to this and not watching it on YouTube - I have a big non-binary beard and a bold pink lip and a stripey shirt dress that's multicolored. And I'm 43. I've worked in the arts my whole life.

At the minute my main focus has been as director of a cabaret club, where I work with an incredible amount of talented people who are from lots of different backgrounds, lots of different shapes, sizes, disabilities, all kinds of things. We're a motley crew, and it's a very cool thing. So that's what I spend most of my life doing. I also teach and I write. And I do... you know, I'm a freelancer in the arts. So clearly, I have 700 jobs at any one time.

And I'm fat. That's the thing. I came out as fat in 2018.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** We're grateful for it. Thank you for coming out.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Thank you.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** So you do have a bold lip, and you love a bold lip, and we were talking about your bold lip. I particularly like this color, actually. And it's not... it's probably not a color I would have said I like on you. It's gorgeous. So if you're not watching on YouTube right now, you probably need to head over to YouTube just to check out Ross's lip and enjoy it for a moment.

So we've been talking for a while now on this series of the podcast about medical trauma, the challenges that we're experiencing in healthcare and kind of labeling it as trauma, like using the term trauma, which kind of has lots of connotations nowadays, and sometimes, perhaps, is used when it shouldn't be used. But I think when it comes to medical trauma, it's not used enough - like we don't talk about these experiences as trauma when that's clearly what they are.

So I'm wondering as somebody who has more than one marginalized identity, what your experience with the healthcare system has been like so far. It would be really bad if you turned around and said it's been amazing. So...

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** It's been perfect. I have had absolutely no problems, no complaints. Just plain sailing. No, it has been... My interactions with the healthcare system in the north of Ireland have been singularly one of the most devastating processes that I've ever engaged in in my life, particularly since around 2020, 2019.

They started to coincide, or they started - the beginning of it coincided when I came out as fat. I know I say that reasonably glibly. But for me, coming out as fat means being open about the fact that you're not on a diet. You know, obviously people can see you're fat. But saying "I am fat and not I am trying to be smaller" is a form of coming out for me and doing that to the world in general. It's pretty tricky for all of the reasons that you have been discussing for very many years, and I'm very grateful for them.

Doing it to doctors who are middle to upper middle class and what is a reasonably posh part of Belfast when I'm not a particularly posh person, but for whom fatness is anathema in every single possible way was horrifying. Add to that a layer of my gender presentation, as it were, becoming more and more authentic for me, you know, there's a whole question about where authenticity is made and perceived, and all that. But for me it feels more authentic to present my gender like this in a more femme way.

And the response to that from the medical profession in general in this part of the world has been cold, it has been callous, it has been dismissive. It has been cruel, and it has been unethical. There's no other way of putting that.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** I want to explore all of those things, but you said something that has like hit me in the face, and I'm like I never thought about it this way. But, my God, that is so true! The idea of coming out as fat. And then also that you and I have some experience of coming out, right. I came out as queer in 1994. I came out as bisexual a few years later, which was terrible. I felt like it was going back in rather than coming out. I came out as trans in 2021. But you're so right. Those experiences are very similar to coming out as fat as somebody who is experienced in coming out. I wonder if you could maybe expand on that, because I think there might be some people listening, going, "Oh, my God! That's what that is." Yeah, the coming out.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** For me, in my usual style, my coming out process involved writing, producing, performing, and touring a play called Cake Theory. It was amazing. It was great fun, and I absolutely adored it, and the sort of the whole production of that play was my sort of getting to grips with diet culture and the lack of science behind diet culture, because that was the thing that was holding me back from accepting my fatness. You know what I mean. That was the thing that held me back from going, "Oh, I just need to be fat then. Okay, cool."

Because it goes against every single bit of radical politic that I have in my body to try to be smaller. You know what I mean. If I'm queer, anti-capitalist, anti-white supremacist, then I can't be running around on a diet. That's not for me.

So the process of that, because I was doing it quite publicly, and because I already sort of in Belfast... I had this persona of being sort of, you know, someone who dressed colorfully a bit like a children's toy, and sang well, and you know, was witty, and said funny things and acted in some stuff, and you know, so some people knew me - like not a great many, but some people knew me.

And so a lot of the sort of the body positive stuff at the time was sort of around. And people jumped on that. And I'm like, "Yeah, everybody should love their body." And there was me, all brightly colored going, "Yeah, everyone should love their body." But that's not what body positivity means. Body positivity means equality for marginalized bodies is what it means. Liberation for marginalized bodies. Not, you know, some skinny white girl on Instagram who folds her stomach and has a little roll and goes, "I still love myself." That's not body positivity - that's white supremacy. Shut up.

So that sort of jarred with an awful lot of people in my personal life. I just sort of brought everybody along with me on the... all my friends and family everybody had was sort of fat liberation workshop as they went along. Do you know what I mean? I had a little reading list that people could read. They didn't have to. It was either read that, or listen to me for quite some time. Some people chose to do the reading. That was fine.

That was, that's still a sort of ongoing process. Obviously, being a fat person in the world is still... it's still you have to deal with the shame and the guilt that they try to heap upon you. That's a constant sort of vibe. But the process of that was greatly accelerated because I was doing it publicly.

Personally, though, coming out to a doctor and saying, "I'm not interested in weight loss as a treatment" was like one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life. And the response to it has been, I'm going to say, catastrophic for my health.

It's taken me about 4 or 5 years to get to where I am now, which is where I could even talk about it and be healthy - whatever that means. I mean, also, can we talk about the word healthy. I know you talk about the word healthy, and you're excellent on the word healthy - like if we can't acknowledge as a group that health is a white supremacist, capitalist, patriarchal ideal to which we're all held, and not something that is of any actual benefit to us. If we can't acknowledge that we can't move forward, but I find it frustrating.

Because it closes down our language. Then it means... you know what I mean. It means for me to talk about my health. Now we still see health as one stable, unified singularity that is achievable rather than an ongoing process, and something that we, you know, have to try and do. Anyway, I'm at a point now where my body is functioning in a way where I don't feel like crap all the time, and I don't want to curl up in a ball under a blanket all the time.

And it's only now, looking back that I can, that I've even started to process any of the sort of medical interactions in and around that.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Yeah, I think I've had quite a... in terms of coming out, I haven't had the easiest experience. I've lost friends. I don't know that I've had particularly supportive family - shout out to my sister, who's been amazing, but not everybody's been massively supportive, and obviously my husband. The kids have been great.

But, my God! Was that easier than coming out as fat, I mean, and even with doctors I agree with you. It's much easier for me to tell them I'm transgender, which hasn't been easy, but much easier to do than to come out as fat and say I'm not trying to lose weight and actually to stop them from assaulting me continuously with their weight loss advice, because it is an assault. I've said no, and you keep doing it. I've said no multiple times. How many more times are you going to keep doing it? That's assault.

What have your experiences been like? I mean, I don't have to share all of the really painful things. But are you able to share...

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** I don't mind sharing the really painful things actually, because they have less hold over me now, which is good.

So I think the first thing was just general sort of ongoing health things like asthma, and whatever - just general sort of stuff. And it was sort of just a general like, "Oh, I mean, everything's okay. But you should probably lose some weight." And I said, "No, thank you."

And it was like I had tried to take a shit on their desk right in front of them. The reaction to me going, "No, thank you. I'm not interested in that. Thanks." There was ice creeping up the walls. The conversation basically came to an end very quickly, and all of the other concerns that I had that I was going to talk to the doctor about were dismissed pretty much immediately, and I was ushered out. It's as simple as that. It sounds like something from, you know, some earnest student film. But that's what happened.

As time went on, I got Covid about 500 times, because my job is to breathe in front of people. Singing, I think it's called, and my body reacted pretty poorly to getting Covid, as so many bodies did.

And so there's sort of 2 strands to this. One is that I still don't... they still ignore the symptoms of long Covid, and haven't, and refused to refer me for, or even mitigate the symptoms. Do you know what I mean? Like they do not care for symptom relief even slightly.

The other thing, and that has had a massive impact on my life. But every time I go in, the fact that I am a fat person means that they won't treat it because I haven't gone out of my way to lose weight - tale as old as time.

And the other thing was that I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2021, which is something my biological dad had, and something that, having had Covid a few times probably sped up happening.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Part of a very special club. I just want you to know that we are amazing, all of us, aren't we? Yes, carry on. Very difficult to manage covid diabetes. I just want to point that out. Really, really atypical presentation of type 2 diabetes. But we'll get to that another day, I think.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Well, that was my... that's been my experience of it, actually, that you know that Metformin and not eating weren't working for me. My blood sugars were still sky high, and they were like, well, but again, essentially just not treating me. And this went... This went on for I'm gonna say, a good couple of years.

They then refused to treat my ADHD. That's a systemic sort of problem from another place, but also included in that was my hypertension, which again they were trying to treat through weight loss. And I was saying, "I'm not interested in that. Can you treat the hypertension?" And they weren't.

And it took an intervention from a psychiatrist to get them to actually treat the hypertension and to get them to refer me to a cardiologist to approve all of this, because they're so risk averse that they wouldn't. The cardiologist looked at me and was like, "Yeah, well, now that you have the right blood pressure meds, your blood pressure is fine. You're doing everything you can. I can see that - good for you. Off you go."

And I wept in front of this man - wept there. This is a theme. There'll be a theme of me weeping and water dripping from my beard, because I weep so hard, because just someone being nice to me in a medical setting was so upsetting that I sobbed to this cardiologist, who literally just went, "Oh, no, yeah, you're managing your blood pressure fine! Good for you. Well done." After they did a, you know, 24-hour cuff and all that, and stuck things to me, and made me do things - like, "Yeah, you're grand, anyway."

So the fatness again was used to not treat my neurodivergence. My God! The more I think of it, the more layers of complexity there are to this - very much they're choosing to ignore it all.

So the interactions... I just... I had to cut them off. Essentially, I just couldn't function. So I just... No, I couldn't even order a repeat prescription from them. So I was just buying the prescription drugs that I sort of needed a little bit maybe from online pharmacies and losing my mind and losing whatever physical health that I... my blood sugars were just clearly creeping up and up and up. My blood pressure was going up.

I was losing... I didn't have any ADHD meds. I had still had the sort of inflammatory symptoms of long Covid.

I feel a wee bit like, you know that mate of your granny, who just sits down and tells you everything that's ever been wrong with them? That's how I feel right now - just that French and Saunders character going, "Well, I actually had my heart removed on Monday."

But I'm just... yeah. I'm just sort of... I'm as I'm saying this, I'm sort of reckoning with it myself, going, "Oh, wow!" Because from the place I am now, one forgets. One has to forget in order to function.

But so I had all of this sort of collapsing down on myself, and no support from the doctors, because I literally could not go to my doctor without having... I couldn't even think about going to my GP without having basically what was a full-on panic attack. And I'd never had a panic attack in my life before. I didn't know what one was.

Thankfully, I have some very good friends and an excellent partner. And my saving grace in all this was I met a private GP who was kind enough to really help me out. I think maybe just because she enjoyed my craic a little bit. I'm not sure. She's a singer and performer, too, so do you know what I mean? She was like, "Oh, you're good craic! Oh, you're falling apart! Oh, shit. Let's help."

But one of the things that made me feel safe with her was the fact that when she met me she complimented the dress I was wearing straight off. She complimented my pretty Vivian Westwood glasses - like "Those glasses are cool. I wouldn't be cool enough to wear those glasses."

Whereas my interactions with my own GP, or GPs, because they pass me from pillar to post, because they're all terrified of me, were of nothing but awkwardness and sometimes actual frustration. My refusal to be a good, gay man when I was performing the role of good, gay man for them previously. Good, gay man, who wanted to be thin, but the good, gay man is not insignificant in this equation. They could cope.

I don't know what would happen if I went in and told them, "Hi, I think I'm a trans woman, or I want to transition medically in some way." I don't know what would happen. I don't want to do that because... but I don't... I'm not dysphoric about my body. I'm dysphoric about what adorns my body and how I, you know... I put it out into the world, but not about it itself.

I don't know but I know that when I stopped playing the role of the good, gay man they... there was one guy in there, you know, the type with chinos and pointy shoes. You know the ones I'm talking about. Mustard chinos with a pointy black shoe.

Getting all up my grill, getting frustrated because he was going to examine my stomach. I'm still not entirely sure why, but he was going to examine my stomach, and I was wearing a dress, and he refused to say the word "dress." It was like, "Lift your... lift your... thing! Lift that t-shirt!" and like got to that point like shouted like that at me.

Which I assume part of it was, he didn't want to perhaps offend me and call it a dress, because he thinks that's offensive in his world - which is offensive in and of itself, obviously. And then he just got frustrated. And then he... do you know what I mean? But the overall effect was, he was shouting aggressively at a patient about their clothing. Wasn't ideal.

And so, anyway, do you still want me to keep talking and telling the story of how I got to where I am now? Or will we...

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** I've written notes. There's so much to explore. But you just... sorry for that. Okay.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** So I met the other, the lovely doctor, who's an absolute legend of a woman who helped me out and heard me, listened to me, apologized for her profession. Heard me cry a lot after she was nice.

And we basically came up with a plan together which was to get my numbers. Just let's just focus on that. She was like, "My job is to help you get the numbers down. That's what I can help you with here." So she gave me some prescriptions and helped me bring my numbers down - my HbA1c. She was like, "Let's get that down without you losing weight. Let's make sure your blood pressure is controlled. Let's make sure all the things that you need you have, and then, when you're feeling better and in a stronger place, you go back to your GP. And you get them to do the blood tests. But you'll already know what the blood tests are going to say, and you go in and you get them done, and you can tell them that you have achieved all of these numbers without losing a single kilogram of weight."

And that's what I did. Honestly, could not be happier about this.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** You're gonna have to paint that picture for us in a moment. But we need to get there first.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Yeah, I know. I know we have a lot of work to do. Let's go. My God.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** It's time to start at the beginning, because I want to get to the end part where I need to hear you reenact what happened with the GP when you finally got to sort of be like, "F you. My numbers are down, and I haven't lost a kilogram of weight," but we can't... we can't get to the... we can't. It's like reading the end of the book before we get before.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Yeah, yeah, we need to. Let's go back. Let's go back.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Let's go back, and then we'll get there. So I heard a lot of different ways in which weight stigma reared its very ugly head. But just... I know a lot of my listeners are in similar boats. I know a lot of my listeners are diabetic. I know a lot of my listeners have long covid and are being ignored, and I think everybody with long Covid is being ignored to be fair. But I think that of all the people that are being taken seriously... So it's not everybody, I would say. The majority of people with long Covid are being ignored, but the ones who are being taken seriously are the thin ones, the professional ones, the ones who are respected and upstanding members of the community. Just look at that doctor who died like 4 days.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Yes. This person who's a lawyer, and who runs marathons.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Oh! Now I can't make it to their mailbox. Yes.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** That right, whereas everybody else is just like "lose some weight, stop being so lazy, eat better, exercise more" - that kind of thing that is, you know, these, all of the symptoms dismissed.

And the diabetes and the blood pressure - classic, you know, even though there literally is no evidence. In fact, there is evidence. It's not... there isn't evidence. There is evidence. Weight loss doesn't work - like weight loss doesn't drop your blood pressure and weight loss doesn't drop your HbA1c - like conclusive evidence. We're still gatekeeping treatment even, not even giving people the right treatment, because you've come out as fat. You don't get this, you don't get to have any of this.

Then the ADHD. Again, a lot of my listeners have ADHD surprisingly enough, and are being denied medication surprisingly enough, for the very same reasons. "Oh, but you're a walking heart attack waiting to happen. We can't give you these medications."

And we know that it's really hard to get ADHD medications on the NHS now for most people. And still there are layers of kind of who might get access. You know there's a ladder. There's a hierarchy. You at the top might get access to these medications, but you down here at the bottom absolutely not a chance.

So I hear all of the stigma, which is shit in of itself. But the way you were treated... But you know there is that the not being able to access the treatment which you deserve, and that's not okay. But the way you were treated, and the way you were so suddenly dismissed the moment you came out as fat, you know, and just literally ushered out the door, and the way that someone being nice to you literally caused you to erupt into floods of tears.

I'm... I'm yeah. I wonder, like, what is it been like as you're talking about this now and telling it in a sort of very factual way. What's it been like holding on to this trauma, all of these emotions? What's that like.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** I can't pretend it's been anything other than hell at times for the last few years. It's only since working, finding that other GP, the private one, who's awesome and generous and kind... only since meeting her and having a strategy having a plan and having... I shouldn't have to have my numbers in the right place in order to be taken seriously in a doctor's... in a GP practice. That shouldn't be the case, but it had to be to even overcome all of those things, so that I could even get a repeat prescription for lisinopril.

And it has been honestly hellish, and my friends and family have put up with a lot of me disappearing from life, from public life, from private life, from all spheres of life. And it is literally only the last couple of months that I have started to come back out again. And dare I say it, enjoy things. That sounds so dramatic.

But you know I was aware yesterday I spent time with my friend, and we had a lovely, you know. We had a little coffee, and you know we both needed some cleanser. So we went and bought some cleanser. You know, I treated myself to, you know a little avocado and egg breakfast like I was middle class, and, you know, got back to the house to do a little bit of paperwork, and I was sitting, and I went, "Oh, I feel happy!" And that feeling had been so foreign for so long! And I...

So much of that was caused by my trauma response to that medical neglect is what I'm going to call it.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Yeah, and it... And I'm so happy to hear that you had your avocado and eggs.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** It was delicious.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** And you had fun, and you were happy, and I know that is a real... it's been a difficult couple of years for me. I could see that you were struggling a lot, and fortunate enough to have been able to spend some time with you in the past. I know you well enough to know that you were really going through it, and you were being treated like garbage for a really long time by your medical professionals.

And I hear that things are better now. But it took a GP to help to do what she did to get you there, you know. If that hadn't happened, I wondered, do you think you would still be in the place that you are today?

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** No, absolutely not. And I'm very lucky that I happened to meet someone who was willing to help me outside of NHS structures. And then let me get to a point where I could pay for some private prescription options from her, you know, like a GLP-1 for the diabetes, for example. But not for weight loss.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Good.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Because that's achievable. And I like being a big, bad fat. That they were designed to treat type 2 diabetes which, you know, has been historically really difficult to manage, despite what people would tell you anyway.

Had I not been sheerly lucky enough to find that, and then been privileged enough - like, I don't have any generational wealth, or I don't even have a pension. For goodness sake I work in the arts, but I like gather together enough resources that I could pay for those in order to sort of scramble back some health enough for a few months, and if I hadn't been in that privileged position I would be under a blanket somewhere with an A1c of 200, and you know blood pressure of 180 over 140. Do you know what I mean - is where I would be with my kidneys hanging out my arse and my brain lying beside the... you know. Is where I would be had it not been for that intervention and this sort of privilege, you know the amount of privilege that I hold in the world. I would be a mess, a mess.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** And I just... I want to preface this by saying she sounds amazing. All hail to this GP. Great woman, fantastic, very hard to come by, and I think she's wonderful. And I also want to say that she didn't do anything remarkable in of itself, you know, having heard the story of her. You know she... it is remarkable, because, compared to the rest of the healthcare...

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Yes.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Let's put it that way, actually.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** She says this herself to be fair to her. Yep, absolutely. I'm sure she does because...

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** She's literally like, "I'm literally just doing my job, Ross."

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Yeah.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** This is what... no, this is... Yeah, yeah. Not surprised that she's not working in the NHS anymore. That does not surprise me at all because I imagine it wouldn't be possible for her to be able to do her job the way she wants to do it within the NHS.

Complimenting your dress and your glasses. These are basic skills that we were taught right at the beginning, when we were talking about communication skills - build rapport with your patients. The first thing we're taught how to do, and complimenting a person's clothing is a really good way to do that. So she's obviously really good at her job.

But I don't think that that's remarkable. What is remarkable to me is another doctor feeling uncomfortable talking about your clothing. That's the part I find quite remarkable and remarkable in a negative way. Of course I'm really shocked by that story you told about lifting up your whatever that is. I am genuinely shocked.

It also made me realize... I don't get treated like that. Now, to be fair, I do have a bunch of good GPs who have been quite supportive. Particularly in Scotland. I think that's probably part of it, but they've been good, and they've been really, really supportive when it came to my gender identity. I've never had any issues.

But I wonder if I was... if I was you know, trans femme, if I was wearing a dress, whether it would be different. I wonder, you know, because there is that misogyny there is that extra layer again of like you are... You are wearing a dress, and that is problematic. If you were a cis woman we could handle that because, cis women are supposed to be wearing a dress. But you... whereas Asher is wearing a T-shirt and trousers and suspenders. And that's okay. They don't have a problem saying, "remove your suspenders," you know it's a different... It is different experience, I think.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Yes, and I've transgressed masculinity. You know, and the punishment for that, and the policing of that is quite stringent.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** What is a good, gay man? I mean, when you talk about being a good, gay man? What do doctors want from their good, gay men? That came out wrong.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** No, no, it came out perfectly. So to be cis... to start. To dress in trousers and a shirt, and you know little jackets, or whatever. To be camp enough that you're entertaining.

This is also a thing I find with doctors and professionals in general. Whenever they find out I'm a performer, they start to talk to me like I'm a toddler for some reason. Very often not all of the time. Obviously but that becomes like... "Oh, you up on your stage doing your, you know..." It becomes very... "Are you doing? You're doing your shows at the minute?" It like that is... like, I've just become a cherished family pet.

Those two things sort of fed together with me, and becoming like the sort of the handbag gay, you know the sort of the gay best friend in Sex and the City or the you know that version that's quite witty, and you know, maybe a little bit self-effacing, and you know, will complement their hideous Zara coat or something, you know, and but ultimately... not subservient. That's not the word, but it's the only one popping into my head. But you know what I mean.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Ultimately buying in to the narratives.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** I'm not.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Not asking anything more of them.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** You know.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Sort of you know I'm gay. I'm a gay man. I'm a performer, and therefore I recognize that you are superior to me in every way, but you've somehow allowed me sort of entrance into your little world, but I should be eternally grateful. Yes, and should behave exactly as you expect me to, otherwise I'm out instantly. That kind of yeah. And you know, doctors... doctors are classist as hell. We don't talk about that enough. Maybe. I mean, I talk about a lot of things, and doctors are racist and doctors are classist.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Hideously, so.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Oh, it's quite vile. And I actually think that there are sort of there's a level of respect given to other professionals, you know, and anyone who is not a professional is kind of dumped into other categories. And I guess, performer. I wonder what that category is. But it's clearly very much beneath them.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Yes, it is. That's how it's perceived. And when I was doing my good gay man act, what was brought up was my teaching in Queens, which is the university - one of the universities in Belfast. But it's the university that's across from my practice. It's literally in that area, which is an area that has a large immigrant population, but an immigrant population that's going to Queens mostly, and an aging population from people who live in 6-bedroomed houses and what is, you know, a leafy suburb, not even suburb. It's just outside of Belfast City center - very affluent place.

And I... I don't work in Queens at the minute, but I do sort of go back and forth, but you know, while I was being a good, gay man, they were like "oh, hire things across the road," you know what I mean. And then, as soon as I started to present in more femme ways, and not, you know, and came out as gender queer non-binary whatever, then the focus became more on the performer.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Right, I'll bet.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Yeah. And these are probably things that these people do not realize that they are doing.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** I can say with absolute confidence that they are clueless about the fact that they are racist and homophobic and classist and transphobic like they don't.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** I think they'd probably be horrified at the thought that they were, defended rather than actually explore the possibility that they were.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Absolutely. And as I said, the ones who are really doing the work, but I just can't... can't work with the other ones. I mean your GP who is a private GP is a perfect example of that. There was a long time when I was considering going into private practice, because I was like, well, at least I don't have to deal with these assholes anymore on a daily basis, because they're really unpleasant to be around - really unpleasant and really prejudiced.

But going back to the trauma you... So you have all of these very traumatic experiences. You're holding those in your body. Your body is literally like closing in on itself, like you are kind of retreating, going into bed, hibernating like sort of isolating yourself because of this trauma. And then I recognized that, of course.

Now there's this lovely story of how your levels are down and like you, you know, you can finally... you're in a place where you can even walk back into that GP surgery and ask for the blood tests or the drugs, or whatever, even though I know you haven't got that part yet. But it's still not a perfect ending to the story. It's not fairy tale ending, but at least it's something.

But I wondered if you got a chance to process that trauma.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** I'm still... I think I'm still working out how I process trauma as a neurodivergent person. I think I need to do a lit review. I think I need to then write a paper or a play, or make some sort of little show about it, or do something to actually process it.

All the other sort of major life upheavals that I've had... So I have. I actually, I have an idea for a play in my head that I think came from that sort of thing. I won't... I won't! Don't give any of it away yet, but it's been in my head, and I think I need to write it at some point, but I think to sort of get it out of my body, as it were, or to finish the action, as they say.

I need some... I need. I need a creative outlet for it. At the minute, I think I'm just in the process of accepting the fact that it is, in fact, a legitimate trauma, and something that my response to was not me just being a drama queen, you know.

And me just being wholly insufficient and deserving of that treatment which... I'm still in. I'm still in that phase of it.

Moving my body, singing, putting on a bold lip of a day. They all seem like very small things, but they are things that you know actively help with that... social media recently has helped with that weirdly which is a sentence I never, ever, ever thought I would say in my life.

But it has even the process of making and enjoying food has become... I'm enjoying the ritual in it now.

I... with my particular neuro flavor, I enjoy gamifying things. So my goal with food is to what can I include in this, you know, that gives me more fiber. I always like fiber. I always liked vegetables. I always like things like that. But what can I add to this to make it more... what beans can I add to this to this particular meal? What legumes can I include in this?

And that? I've been doing that for months, and it's a joy to do that, you know, to eat whatever that I want and include some beans and stuff in that, and things that I enjoy. You know what I mean. What way can I... some chia seeds into their salad? That's gonna be fun, you know.

All of those things are part of me processing this. Does that make sense.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Yeah, yeah, I think... I think processing it to begin with, especially in the body, is really helpful. You know, I think talking about it is not necessarily the solution. And you know there's so many different ways of processing trauma. But I love the fact that actually there are, you know... Oh, dare I say self-care rituals? God! That makes me feel like I want to vomit when I say it. But yeah, putting on a bold lip and making your hilarious TikTok videos and adding chia seeds to your salads. And, like all of that, sounds like very nourishing.

But going back to what you said about hey? I'm still in that processing place, and I think a lot of people are. And I think you know, I think we're better at talking about certain types of trauma now, and I still think we're evolving. And we certainly weren't talking about trauma when I was younger. I mean, this is a relatively new thing.

But you know we can talk about... I think we struggle to talk about sexual trauma, but we are at least talking about it. I think we can talk about childhood trauma, you know. I think we can talk about domestic violence in that we can talk about... I'm not saying we can fix it, but we can at least... and people have a general understanding that yes, that is wrong, and anybody who experiences that is, you know... again, horrible word - victim of trauma.

But with medical trauma, because it has become so sort of normalized, and because doctors are getting away with it, and because there is, you know... well, for lots of reasons, I'm sure... it's almost like that's a sort of a silent one that we can't talk about, or that we can't name, and that like? Then it's... you know, the shame of well, you know. Maybe I deserved it, or maybe... maybe I'm being a drama queen, as you said, and all of that stuff. So even just naming it and saying, this happened to me, can kind of in of itself be really difficult, and some people never get there.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Because the medical profession has so much legitimacy in the world. It is an institution that is trusted. Because we necessarily have to trust it. You know we have no other option. What's the option? We just get sick and die.

It's an institute. It's an institution, it's an industry. And but it hides the fact that it's an industry. Still, even the NHS within all that it still has the same... not the same, you know. They're not presented the same, but the same machinations of patriarchy and white supremacy that the medical industry everywhere does. And that's not to say that there aren't a great many incredible doctors, and I'm very grateful for so much good medical science, you know.

Like somebody discovered salbutamol so I could breathe at the age of... you know what I mean. Great delighted by that. Thank you. The way it's wielded, entirely unethical.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Yeah, statistically speaking, you know, what are the numbers... statistically, what percentage of doctors have done some really amazing things, and pushed the envelope and broken barriers, and done all these things, and you know, invented drugs. And sure it's a very small percentage of the entire medical institution, the entire medical industrial complex, the vast majority of whom, you know, are assholes. So I think we... you know... we... not all doctors.

It's not all men. We are well aware that there are some gems out there, but we also know that, statistically speaking, they're not that many. They are not the majority, that's for sure, and the majority of doctors, and I mean, I wish I had a number for it. I know for a fact that at least 3 quarters of doctors are fat phobic, and I think it's actually probably much more than that. I think that's a very kind of generous number. But you know that's... that's 3 out of 4 doctors have already failed us, and it's more than that. So you've got your GP, your private GP. This woman who is an absolute legend, and whom you know has really helped bring you back from the brink of something really quite awful.

And it shouldn't take that... that shouldn't... It shouldn't take somebody caring enough to give their time and energy because it's not possible to do that for everyone. And so...

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Exactly.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** You know this is not the solution, and as happy as I am, and I want to hear the story now about what happened when you went to your GP recently. I need. We need to hear the story because we've been waiting. It's been a long time. I've teased this. Make it good, tease it out, make it good.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Just to pick up on what you just finished saying there also processing the sort of guilt that goes along with. How lucky I am to have met her when that's not available to everyone. And it's not a solution to the systemic problem. As you rightly point out.

I'm at a point now where I sit more in gratitude than guilt around that. But it's... it's a tricky as a person who comes from the socioeconomic background that I have. It's a tricky thing to get my head around, and the fact that even private medical practitioners exist blows my mind, my little working class nerdy mind. But I am eternally grateful for that. That's a weird place to sit.

I'm not complaining about it absolutely not a complaint at all. Just an acknowledgement that it's a complex place to sort of sit.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** And I want to acknowledge that as well, and I don't want to diminish anything you just said. And I just want to add that really, genuinely, truly, you're one of the best people I know. So if I had the power to distribute a private GP to anyone, I would have put you right at the top of my list.

So I mean, not that that means anything, or is going to impact you in any way. But actually, you deserved it. And I also think you are battling, or you know, you are struggling with a lot of multiple marginalized identities. You're neurodivergent. You're disabled. You're queer, you're trans. You're, you know. I just counted 5.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Good luck. And on there. Yeah.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** You know, you come from a working class background, you know. You don't have a pension. We put all of those things together. And actually, you know, you absolutely are deserving. And what I really want is one of 2 things for there to be enough good doctors out there to help all the people like yourselves, but ideally, prevention is better than cure. That there's no medical trauma to start with, and then, you know, but that's a kind of Utopian dream, and I'd love to say that I'm going to live to witness that.

And I hope that there will be some changes, and I hope that you know we all will be able to make some impact. But I, you know, imagining a world where there's no such thing as trauma is. It just seems a bit, you know, a bit too good to be true. So if anyone was going to get a GP who took, who went. I'm going to help you. You absolutely deserved it. So I hear the guilt I do.

And I also just want to speak to that guilt, and saying, Well, no, but you genuinely deserved it, and I know everybody who knows you is going to feel the same way, carry on, tell us a story.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Okay. So I... It was getting into autumn last year 2024, and I needed my Covid booster. And I didn't want to, or have the money to pay for it. This thing cost an absolute fortune, which is another thing, is a sin, how much they cost.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Is that not free? For you should be free.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** It's free, it's free. If I get it from my GP. But if I go to a pharmacist or something else, then the rollout of pharmacists doing it here was very late, and I like, you know. I'd had covid so many times because I stand in front of people and sing for a living.

I was like, I need this sooner rather than later, because I can't afford to get Covid again, because like, good Lord, the impact is gross, anyway.

So I pulled on my big girl pants and I contacted my GP surgery and I got an appointment to get my Covid vaccine! This was after... I forget, because the time was so fluid and murky and swirling, and like miasmatic that I can't. I can't even recall that. But say, a year and a half of me, not even getting repeat prescriptions from them, so they didn't know if I was alive or dead.

So the nurse who gave me the thing and she was like, "Oh, should we get you in for some..." she sort of clicked in the computer. And she went, "oh, should we get you in to check your numbers and things and get you into a little diabetes checkup, and that sort of thing." I was all "yeah, if you want. Okay, no problem, of course."

And I felt quite chill about it. I was like, "Yeah, cool. Grand, do whatever you want to do? Check some bloods."

And I came back like the next week, or something to see her, and she was like, "Oh, so my goodness, your numbers are great. Your A1c is 49 or 48, or something like that. It was, whatever it was, it was bang on what it... You know what they want people with type 2 diabetes for it to be.

What have you been doing? Have you... have you been losing weight?" and I took more joy in this sentence than I have taken in anything in my life.

In that moment I was like, "No, no. I haven't lost a kilo. I've just been seeing a private GP. And she prescribed a very low dose of a GLP-1, and it's worked to bring my blood sugars down without me having to lose any weight. It's been great."

And the panic that ensued. That poor woman who look... The nurse is part of the medical system. Yes, I absolutely get that. But she's sort of on the front lines out there trying to navigate a whole load of shit from doctors and things as well. Do you know what I mean? So I have. I hold much more compassion for nurses in the world.

But she... bless her! Absolutely shit herself - like there's no 2 ways about it. The panic that ensued she was like, "Oh, goodness! Well... yeah, right?" So she put me in. The doctor came in. That was like it was like panic stations.

The doctor came in and was like, "Well you say you really should have told us this because we have a duty of care for you." And I went. I literally laughed in his face. I literally went "huh!" It was that laugh. It was my... people call it my Ursula the Sea Witch laugh. I literally was like, "I can't believe you just said that to me," and I was like "no harm. I haven't heard from you. You haven't heard from me in about a year and a half. So you... yeah, where was that duty of care?"

And he... it's like, "right? Well, you'll get a phone call from us on Monday." And I was like, "okay, cool. Have a lovely weekend, bye," and I just sat there being the smuggest that had ever lived. I sat there grinning. I was beaming. I was just... everything that they said to me, even when they were being kind of a bit mean and a bit horrible and a bit dismissive. I sort of... I sort of turned into the Queen Mother.

By that I mean, you know the way the royal, the way the royals have of of when someone's rude to them, they treat it as like. "Oh, you've appeared to have accidentally called me a dickhead. What a funny little oversight that you've just made." Do you know what I mean? Like? I just went into that mode and waltzed out of there living my best life. And then, do you know, it was great craic.

But then will you hear the pettiness now - lean in, lean in... wait. The pettiness of this doctor's surgery I have to admire. I didn't ask them to prescribe me the GLP-1. I said nothing about it. I just sat there and literally went. "Yep, no, no, wait. Yeah. Notice. Yes, through a private practitioner. Yes, she's a GP. Yep, she's registered. Yes, she's a GP."

And I got a phone call from their pharmacist the Monday morning saying, "Hi, so you're on a GLP-1. And you're... you're looking for us to prescribe it." And I was like, "that's not how the conversation went. But okay, yeah, whatever." And she went, "we're... yeah. We're not going to prescribe that for you. You would need to have that... You need to have that prescribed by an endocrinologist." And I was like, "right. Is that... is that your protocol? Because it's not. That's not what the guidelines say. The guidelines are very clear" - thankfully. One of my best mates is a medic. So she had sent me the prescribing guidelines and around it, and I had them in front of me. Oh, I was ready.

So then I went to see. I went to see the GP. And had the same conversation he was like. "So do you understand why we can't prescribe it?" And I went. "No, no, I don't. Can you explain it to me again? Because what you said isn't what's in the guidelines. So is this. Is this a practice wide protocol? Or where is this coming from? Because I just... I don't understand. So can you explain it to me again, please." with my little smile and my bold orange lip I was wearing that day. I remember the color.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Yes, sort of tomatoey orange, and the guy.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Like started sweating because because there was this small... because I just put this small pushback of going like "no, I don't understand why you can't prescribe it."

And he literally couldn't explain. So I was like, "Okay, so are you going to refer me to an endocrinologist so that they can prescribe it, or are we... or what's happening?" And he was like, "well, I don't know."

And I was so full of like my own joy at that point that I was like, "what do you mean? You don't know?" Like I was literally just like... I was actually being really chirpy and friendly, but so combative, which is an energy I hadn't had in quite some time, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Because then he... he did. He was like, "well, it's going to be. It's probably going to be 4, 5, 6 months," and I was like. "Well, that's fine, better, better referred than not."

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** So he did the referral.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** I actually got an appointment with the endocrinologist in about 6 weeks, 7 weeks. And she sent me her clinic notes that were basically like, "yep, Ross is... Ross is doing really well without weight loss being a goal of theirs. So can you prescribe him the GLP-1, please. Thank you."

Maybe it was like... I would love to have been a fly on the wall whenever they got that clinic report - they are gonna be raging. I was like, "do you think they're gonna be raging?" She was like, "Oh, they are gonna be raging, Ross."

So now they have to prescribe it to me every single month. It comes out of their budget or whatever the hell it is. I don't have to pay for it anymore, and my blood sugars are getting the benefit of it without me having to invest in it financially, and they're responsible for it. They have to check my bloods. It's wonderful.

Bitterness and spite that is fueling any type of physical health I have right now.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** That's good, though I mean, it's clearly working. You're living proof. And I love that I love that for you. I love that for them. I just sometimes they need to be brought back down a peg or 2. And this is definitely gonna... And they are gonna be furious.

And I am really happy about that. And it's interesting because I've said to you it's so strange, because up here in Scotland, I mean they've got... they will prescribe, but the nurse will prescribe a GLP-1. We don't need a doctor to prescribe one, and the nurse will do it, so it's odd to me that they don't.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** I have a feeling that had I said, "I would like you to prescribe me this to lose weight," they probably would have done.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Yeah, it's certainly prescribed with a view to weight loss. And I just wanted to take just a moment for a bit of a teaching moment here that GLP-1s are not awful. They were designed to treat diabetes, and for some people they work, and for some people they don't, and for some people, they would dramatically reduce your blood sugar with a very low dose, and in order to get the real sort of weight loss side effect that you're looking for. You need quite a high dose. Of course you can't just get one side effect in isolation. When you get one side effect, you get all the side effects.

That's why, when we're treating diabetes, we go for the lowest possible dose, and it sounds to me like you're on a low dose which is managing your blood sugars peacefully. And when we have that these drugs are actually great, they're doing exactly what they were designed to do.

It's when we start bringing weight loss into the equation that we actually make life harder because we're now putting people at risks, because in order to achieve that weight loss. We're giving them all the other side effects that they actually don't need or want. So what a lovely sort of a lovely outcome! I'm really genuinely happy for you, and genuinely happy. That that's the way that it works out.

That being said, I wish none of this had happened to you. I wish that a doctor had taken your long covid symptoms seriously, or would. I wish that your doctor had just treated your diabetes. That's per protocol and not mention weight loss, because weight loss is absolutely useless when it comes to diabetes. I wish that your doctor was treating your ADHD. That you hadn't had to go to a cardiologist to manage blood pressure quite frankly. How useless do you have to be to refer a person to a cardiologist to manage blood pressure. I wish that when a doctor was nice to you you didn't like cry so much that tears were dripping from your beard. I wish that you hadn't had to cut off your feelings and your trauma, and sort of had to sort of put it to one side in order to function and to get back into society, and to be able to do the things that you wanted to do. I wish that you, you know, didn't have to go through any of it. Didn't have to have all of that trauma and all of those horrible experiences.

And also really looking forward to the play, because I think it would make for an amazing play. And I think it's what we need. And I think you are the kind of person that processes these things creatively and other people benefit massively. So you kind of did announce to the world you were going to do it.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Pull my finger out. Now don't do.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Well, I'm not.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Oh, I have to go and sit beside a lough and write a play. Oh, poor me!

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** I know I know no pressure, but you kind of said it out loud, and there's gonna be now an expectation, and you might have me occasionally go. How's it going? What's what's happening?

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** No, friend, that's fair.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** To people listening, talking about medical trauma is becoming increasingly more important to me, as much as I love doing all of the work where I am trying to teach and educating people around me, that weight loss is completely useless, and serves no purpose other than to make people miserable and make other people rich. I am beginning to realize that there is a real need to talk about these kinds of trauma and find ways to process them. So stick with me. Stick with Ross.

Thank you so much. Anything you wanted to add before the end. I mean, I feel like I've just cut you off.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** No, I don't think there's anything I want to add. But just as you were saying... the creative process, your creative process, as in your... the way you use the skills that you learned in the Empire against the Empire. And the way you synthesize information, for people is also hugely, hugely, hugely important. And you're part of a community and a movement in the world that of which there are many different opinions and people disagree. And people... Could you know what I mean? Like? It's not one unified thing, either, of course, but you're such an important voice in that. And you... the work that you do was such an important part of my cognitive processing of that shame to get to even where I am now. So thank you for being you and for your work.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** F you is all I can say to that. How dare you embarrass me? It looks as well. If you're watching on Youtube, you can see the face. How dare you now? People need to start following you on Instagram and TikTok, because can you tell us about the... who's come on.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Okay. So I started a TikTok because I realized, well, I don't have a pension. I might have mentioned that. And I... there are people who just sit on their sofas and talk shit and make a little bit of money off TikTok. And I was like, I can do that. So I started doing that.

Essentially, I made a comment where I made a little small video about a type of person on TikTok who is claiming that they have been a people pleaser their whole lives and is, you know, is absolutely not going to people please anymore. And my question was, "Whom have you pleased, Sheila?"

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Was it Sheila or Debbie? I couldn't remember.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Sheila... like I was like "Sheila. Whom have you pleased? Because I've known you for 20 years, and you've never pleased me once. You're singularly one of the most awful people I've ever met in my life. You're not a people pleaser. You're a hateful person, and you're weaponizing therapy talk. Get out of my face. Just accept the fact that you're a hateful here and move on."

I said, because I said the word "whore" then that people started commenting and really enjoying the fact that I'd said the word whore so then I kind of started a whores assembly.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Nice.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Someone put it in the comments. Not a whore house, a whore home.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Nice.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** I ended up on German TikTok, Swiss TikTok, Danish TikTok, because the word whore is obviously the same there. But, as I said to them, it's an... in Hiberno English and Scottish English and Scots. It's an expression, yes, of someone who is a sex worker, and that's an amazing thing to be celebrated, too, and we absolutely must do that. The actual whores are the most welcome.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Right. They're the kind of top tier.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Top tier whores - the rest of us. We're dead on. But like we're not... the actual whores are the ones that we need to be throwing our full support behind, too. But like all types of whores are welcome, and it's not necessarily your dedication to sex, whatever that is for you. It's more about your dedication to a boldness and a bodiness and a lack of even acknowledgement of convention.

Love about the whores. Do you know what I mean, and that can be in a very quiet way. You need to be in a loud, brash way, like mine is. It can be in a very small, quiet, contained shy, socially awkward way. You know what I mean.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** Knowledge. If you don't.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Yes, the autistic whores! Yes, the whores with the ADHD. We love them, love them. They're the best one. Do you know what I mean like it's great.

And it's just. And it's acknowledgement of people, you know, like, yeah, people who see metallics and leopard print as neutrals. And I'm very happy with that. You know what I mean, and those who will look at other people who see metallics and leopard print as neutral and go. "Yeah, you're cool, not... I can't believe you're dressing like that." Do you know what I mean?

It's... it's the whores... so, anyway, the TikTok has started to go quite well, and some people have seen the things, and it's very enjoyable, and it's at cabaret underscore Ross.

Because I'm a cabaret artist. I started out, thinking, I'll make it about my life as a cabaret artist, and it ended up just me talking.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** I think that you... I mean, I think there could be flavors of the cabaret, because I think that's you know. I think we love to see it. But I just think that it's enough. There is. There's 1 particular video that came up on my feed. That was basically like, if this is, if this has ended up on your fyp, if it's on your for you page, that's a sign that you're... it's like that is exactly what it is.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** Welcome! Come on in. The algorithm. The algorithm finally got it right? I was like, yeah.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** So follow. Please follow Ross on TikTok. If you're on TikTok and on Instagram. I don't know whether whether that's helpful as well, but yes.

**Ross Anderson-Doherty:** All welcome, the fat whores are welcome, the trans whores are welcome, the disabled whores, the neurodivergent whores - all whores.

**Dr. Asher Larmie:** All of them all together in one place. That's that's what we need. Yeah, but you really do entertain us, and I am very grateful for that, because sometimes we just need a bit of lightness, and it is always lighthearted, but also with a message, because, as