Medical Trauma 101

In this episode, Asher reads an entry from his own journal and then delves into the science of stress and trauma. Cards on the table, he is not a trauma expert but he does have a lot of lived experience with dealing with his own trauma, and supporting clients through theirs. He has been using the Wheel of Feels app for a while now.

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Transcript

11:43:01 Hi, and welcome to the Fat Doctor podcast. I have no idea what episode this is. But I'm glad you hated to join me.
11:43:10 I am going to be talking about stress and medical trauma today. And I'm really looking forward to sharing this because I'm not sure how often I've shared it for.
11:43:21 It's something I talk about a lot in the take your power back course, but I wanted to share it with my listeners today.
11:43:30 So without further ado, it's just me. My microphone, a few notes. And you know, bit of magic.
11:43:37 Here we go.
11:43:40 Before we start actually, and I think this is kind of part of I guess dealing with stress and trauma.
11:43:48 And me kind of I'm not to see role model links, I'm not an expert, but me sort of dealing with it my own way.
11:43:57 I wanted to feedback a little bit. About what would have been 2 podcasts. Go now. 2 or 3 podcasts ago when I was talking about the GMC investigation, those of you who are listening to each of these podcasts will have listened to it already if not.
11:44:10 Feel free to go and have a listen to I think, episode 7 and 8. Of season 4. I have my, my diary for here.
11:44:19 If you're watching on YouTube, you can see it's very nondescript. Diary this one I've got some really nice ones but this one's a kind of plain one and I wanted to read out some journaling, journaling entry or journal entry that I wrote about the GMC investigation and how it's impacted me.
11:44:33 Right, so this is about me. Trying to process it. I'm not going to share all of it because some of it's rude.
11:44:40 Some of its mean, so I'll try and edit some bits out. I feel powerless.
11:44:45 They've taken away my autonomy and ability to end my career on my own terms. The whole thing is unfair and unjust.
11:44:53 And there's a section about the person who complained about me and there are some choice words. But I do think that she takes white fragility to the next level.
11:45:05 And she's also transphobic. The person who complained against me. I'm going to say that out loud.
11:45:09 And I think the GMC doesn't care about that because the downside, I think they have some underlying unconscious transphobia T or conscious, you know, it's explicit or implicit, who knows.
11:45:19 If the GMC understood anything about transphobia and unconscious bias, they wouldn't have agreed with my complainant and taken offense at my perfectly justified comments.
11:45:28 Because don't forget it was all about the fact that I offended them. You know, they took offense and somehow they want to punish me for that.
11:45:35 I can't help feeling though that if I just kept my mouth shut none of this would have happened.
11:45:42 Why did I have to push? And then I write whilst I think it would be helpful to reflect on this because I do have a tendency to push.
11:45:49 And maybe sometimes I could learn to keep my mouth shut. I also wrote I have the right to express myself freely to speak my mind to be myself imperfect as I am.
11:46:00 I don't have to feel ashamed or guilty about any of it. There is nothing wrong with me.
11:46:04 Just as I am. Like that, move my hands now. I'm angry at the GMC for being so useless, uncaring and prejudiced.
11:46:15 Yeah, I said it I hate how they denied all of my complaints. How fucking dare they I have every right to be angry at them and feel that anger.
11:46:23 But I can't hold onto it because I'm the only one that ends up being hurt. That's the thing about anger, isn't it?
11:46:29 It ends up hurting you and no one else. In a fair world, these fuckers would be made to pay, yes, that bit I'm not editing out.
11:46:38 These fuckers would be made to pay but I can't waste my energy plotting against them. And have to let it go.
11:46:42 Let the divine carry out justice on my behalf.
11:46:47 Hello, the longest time I felt alone, I have hidden this from people because I don't want to be a burden.
11:46:52 I don't want to be that person that doesn't have it all together. I want to be seen as being in control because I'm afraid people will reject me if I'm not.
11:46:58 From a young age I was told that I was unlikable and unlovable and I basically spend my life trying to prove otherwise.
11:47:05 But I need to remember that there are some amazing people in my life and I can reach out to them.
11:47:10 Thank you to all those amazing people. You know who you are. Some of you might be listening today.
11:47:16 Maybe onto the next page. Oops. Every time I received an email from the GMC, I was filled with fear and dread.
11:47:24 My nervous system went into overdrive. They have all the power. Moreover can continue to abuse that power without challenge.
11:47:32 I kept thinking what now? And I'd want to just hide and pretend it wasn't happening, but I couldn't.
11:47:37 This thing has been hanging over my head for 2 years now. It has had a tremendous impact on my nervous system.
11:47:43 It has made my depression and anxiety worse. I no longer feel safe. I feel like I'm under attack.
11:47:48 It has been going on for so long it has created maximum carnage. And it's all based on lies and bullshit.
11:47:56 Okay. Excuse me. I have offended people. They have taken offence.
11:48:02 And they are using that to punish me and keep me in line. They have defeated me. I don't have the strength to fight this anymore. They win.
11:48:10 They can have my fucking medical license. I was going to surrender it anyway. I am ashamed to be a doctor.
11:48:20 All that hurts to hear and to read. But that doesn't mean I'm going to keep quiet about it.
11:48:26 Whilst I'm done fighting, I won't be science and if other people hear my story and want to do something about it, they can be my guest.
11:48:35 Just to summarize.
11:48:40 Fat people, let round indigenous people, trans people, queer people deserve better. The people who are in charge, the GMC, who are in charge of ensuring doctors are safe and worthy of a medical license have openly stated that they believe and you could be racist towards white people.
11:48:58 Be transgender people cannot express their fear of or distrust in heteronormative people.
11:49:04 See standing up against colonialism supremacy or capitalism is offensive. There is no unconscious bias in the GMC Lies, lies, lies and bullshit.
11:49:19 I may be defense this but I'm not ashamed of who I am or what I believe anymore.
11:49:24 I hope they get what's coming to them and I hope it's us humiliating disempowering and painful as my experience has been.
11:49:30 Oh bit of like vengeance there right in the end. Oh, that's it. Alright, I'm gonna leave it there.
11:49:39 I don't really think I have much more to say. There may be. I don't know.
11:49:43 I haven't decided whether I'm gonna sort of. Continue to gather supports. Or not, whether I can be bothered, whether it's worth fighting or not, but, I'm glad it's out there.
11:49:54 And now I want to talk. About stress. I have been through something stressful for the last 2 years.
11:50:02 I know I'm not the only one. In fact, I very much doubt there's anyone listening to me today that hasn't been through something stressful over the last 2 years.
11:50:11 In fact, the more marginalised you are, the faster you are, you know. The more kind of marginalized identity to hold, I guarantee you're experiencing stress on a daily basis.
11:50:20 So, So I'm going to get a little bit medical for a moment and talk about acute stress.
11:50:25 And the sympathetic. Nervous system. There's 2, like there's the sympathetic and the parasympathetic nervous system.
11:50:33 Sympathetic has nothing to do with sympathy. It's just the terms. I don't really remember why they called that.
11:50:40 But they kind of work in opposition to each other and by opposition I mean one does one thing and one does the other thing and so either one is working or the other is working they're not both working at the same time.
11:50:48 The sympathetic nervous system is designed to deal with threat. So whenever threat appears and it can be something that you see, something that you think someone could be saying something to you, something, you hear, could be anything, whenever you encounter a threat, you're sympathetic nervous system is activated and by that by that I mean this particular nerves that are linked to all the different organs in your body.
11:51:18 Are activated by your brain. By particular areas of your brain that release particular neurotransmitters.
11:51:26 These are chemicals that work in the nervous system and the most common neurotransmitters and the main ones are adrenaline or epinephrine, same thing.
11:51:37 And nor adrenaline or Nora pro after it. So these 2 neurotransmitters will be firing off immediately and they will spread down all the sympathetic nerves that go to all your organs and pretty much every organ in your body is impacted.
11:51:51 Your eyes, your pupils, become, smaller smaller and your peripheral vision gets bigger so you can see around you can look for more threats.
11:52:03 It impacts your ears. It impacts your gastrointestinal system often makes you I mean without being too gross.
11:52:14 Makes you want to poop and evacuate your bells because better to be rid of that stuff if you're going to have to fight or flee.
11:52:19 So it impacts your gastrointestinal system. I'm like literally going through the body.
11:52:24 Cardiovascular system, your heart rate increases, your blood pressure increases, respiratory system, you start breathing heavier taking in more oxygen.
11:52:32 Which is really good if you're running, but if you're not careful it can lead to hyperventilating if you're not actually physically going to do anything about this threat, then taking on too much oxygen is actually hyper ventilation and it can make you feel awful.
11:52:47 Anyone who's ever had a panic attack knows what that feels like. Feels like you're dying.
11:52:49 And that you just can't breathe. So it impacts your respiratory function. I've said gastrointestinal and moving down what else.
11:52:59 A muscle strength you you your muscles become much stronger and we all know that with adrenaline we are able to do things that we can't do without adrenaline flowing through our systems.
11:53:09 I've probably missed some bits. Skin. Your sweat more and your your more blood and goes sort of to your peripheries.
11:53:19 So you might flush you might get kind of red-faced. All of these things. Sound familiar?
11:53:25 You know, sounds like something that you've experienced before probably because we all experience stress, like a stress earth, something that stresses us.
11:53:33 And and that will activate our acute stress system. Now the sympathetic nervous system is instantaneous.
11:53:40 It acts immediately. There's also an endocrine system, so these are hormones now that are getting released into your bloodstream and then traveling.
11:53:51 Into the adrenal glands which sit above the kidneys. And the adrenal glands will also release.
11:54:00 Adrenaline or epinephrine and noradrenaline. But this time it's much slower because it's going through the bloodstream, right?
11:54:08 So the nerves are instant and the endocrine system is slower. Not that slow, but slower.
11:54:13 And more long-lasting. Now, why do we need the sympathetic nervous system? We need it to help us face the threats.
11:54:20 So, we all know about Fight or Flight. You're either gonna fight threat, you're gonna run from the threat, there's also other kind of other Fs.
11:54:32 And we'll talk about that into this in a moment. But usually what happens is You come across a threat, you deal with a threat, and then you move on.
11:54:41 And this is how the body was designed. And to function in life, it's how we survive as a species, as all species, how we survive.
11:54:50 The problem is that in 20 first century you know, in most countries, depends on where you live, but in most countries in the 20 first century, we're not facing physical threats that often anymore.
11:55:00 It's uncommon to face a physical threat, so the threats that we experience tend to be more psychological.
11:55:07 Or more ongoing and like pervasive. And so instead of like like acute stress sympathetic nervous system adrenaline overload deal with the issue and move on we get stuck.
11:55:23 We get stuck in that same place and instead of like just acute stress hormones. Those adrenal glands start releasing chronic stress formings.
11:55:33 So not off not all not only are we in a constant place of fight or flight or freeze or flop or form which we'll talk about in a moment, but we're also releasing chronic stress hormones from the from a different part of the adrenal gland actually.
11:55:48 And these chronic stress hormones include glyphocorticoids or steroids, which are always known, the most common one is cortisol and you will have heard of cortisol.
11:55:58 I'm sure by now and you will have heard of cortisol I'm sure by now and just if not you definitely would have heard of steroids and you know that steroids In the short term, a bloody fantastic.
11:56:07 Because again They give you strength that you didn't know you had. They keep you mentally alert, stop you from sleeping, you know, from dozing on the job, like they keep you up and and focused and all sorts of amazing things.
11:56:23 But you don't want that in the long term. Right? Because you don't want to be off all time.
11:56:28 You don't want to be hyper aroused all the time. You don't want to be unable to sleep.
11:56:32 Long term sort of Deroid overload cortisol overload is going to mess with your immune system.
11:56:40 It is going to mess with your insulin sort of function and it's going to mess with all sorts of hormones.
11:56:48 It's going to mess with almost all of your hormones, the hormones in your brain, the hormones and the rest of your body.
11:56:52 So you don't want chronic stress. Right? Because that puts the body into a state of imbalance.
11:56:57 And flux and you know damage it causes damage it causes long-term chronic inflammation and that is terribly bad for the body.
11:57:07 So, I mentioned the 5 F. Some people will say 4, some people say 3, there are 5 as far as I'm concerned and I'm not an expert.
11:57:18 So I'm going to put that out there. This is what I understand about the stress response, the fear response or the trauma response as well.
11:57:27 And that is Right. And fight often is kind of a, you know, it feels like an angry kind of like a defiant and then I.
11:57:40 I'm just gonna take this on. Flight which feels like I just I need to run away and it's you know just escape escape escape as quickly as possible.
11:57:50 Then there's freeze. Which is actually quite common because and you're kind of in between fight or flight, like you're neither fighting nor fleeing.
11:57:58 You just stuck and freezen on the spot. And this is a very, very common reaction and like, you know, people talk about the deer chord headlights, oftentimes.
11:58:07 When animals are really you know, stressed, they just freeze and they didn't do anything.
11:58:13 And Sometimes that helps and sometimes it doesn't. There's also the flop which a lot of people think is same as freeze and I guess maybe it is in some degrees but flop is instead of just freezing on a spot is literally falling to the ground.
11:58:26 And you see this in again, we'll see animals doing this like when a predator is hunting or chasing prey.
11:58:33 Sometimes that prey will just drop and pretend to be dead. And sometimes that will be enough. Either because that that predator is using vision.
11:58:42 So to track things and so like no more movement means nothing to chase. And they do say sometimes, don't they certain animals you come across just don't move because that's the only way to survive.
11:58:54 So flop. Orpheres are actually very useful in certain situations. And shouldn't be dismissed as like, oh gosh, just flop.
11:59:04 Just flop, really? Just flopped. Couldn't stand up and fight. Couldn't even run away just flocked.
11:59:07 Just froze. Oh, no, not at all. Sometimes that's the West. Best way to survive.
11:59:12 And then there's fawn. And phone is also a really good way to survive. If something's threatening you and you start falling, then it becomes less of a threat.
11:59:26 And that can even you know, lead to I think when it comes to medical trauma and medical stress can sometimes lead to being kind of complicit.
11:59:37 In the kind of stressful event that's happening. So if you're sat in with a doctor and a doctor as being really horrible to you.
11:59:45 You know, you might argue back. You might literally look for the nearest exit. You might just freeze and just be like, nothing, do nothing.
11:59:57 You might flop and just be left. It's nothing I can do to fix this anyway, so just whatever, whatever.
12:00:04 But you also might phone. Become very submissive and complicit and be like, yes, yes, Doctor, I agree with your doctor.
12:00:11 Yes, that's a great idea, doctor. And I think sometimes that's the most difficult to live with, right?
12:00:18 I think Oftentimes we can leave a consultation in that moment and just be like I can't believe I I was complicit in all of this.
12:00:25 But again, it is a natural reaction and it's not one that we have much control over, especially in the moment, right?
12:00:33 Like to be able to master the the kind of stress response and to be able to kind of override it.
12:00:39 It's not something that many of us can do. So Let's talk now about Chronic dress, being agitated, being sort of, so chronically.
12:00:55 Stressed and let's think about who experiences this. Let's think about who actually experienced. Multiple threats or continuous threats.
12:01:03 People who don't have much money. People who are visibly appear to be something. That society says is bad.
12:01:15 So that could be fats. That could be black or brown, Indigenous or, you know. Skin colour that is not white, I should say.
12:01:24 It's obvious to look at somebody who is trans, someone who is disabled, someone who is especially someone who has a noticeable disability, but also if you're newer a divergent or if you, you know, you have an invisible disability quite often that is noticeable, maybe not like just from at first glance, but definitely when you speak to people.
12:01:42 Perhaps. So anyone, like, you know, we talk about marginalized and oppressed identities, that these are the people that society has deemed less than.
12:01:50 And her society is also deemed a threat and therefore society is trying to do whatever it can to maintain power over these particular groups of people.
12:02:00 So, like every day is a threat. It doesn't matter where you go, what you do, it's a threat.
12:02:08 If you're a fat person, especially a very fat person, again, you know, this is where we talk about privilege as well.
12:02:14 I am a fat person but I am not a large fat. And so I don't experience the same stresses as someone who is 100 pounds heavier than me.
12:02:23 I know, I know that. So I experience more stress than someone who is a hundred pounds smaller than me and believe me there are people that are smaller than me but definitely not as much stress the people who are 100 pounds bigger than me and so it's complicated right it's not it's not it's not binary it's not black and white there's like a whole spectrum in between but Ultimately, if
12:02:47 you're fat or if you are any of the other things that I said that you're noticeably
12:02:55 Different from white cis heteronormative. Everybody or non-disabled neuro quote unquote neuron.
12:03:11 Neuro-typical society then And if you if you differ from that then you are under threat and the more you differ.
12:03:19 The more threat you're under. But it's not just that. Like I said, if you're poor, maybe that's not a great work to use, but if you have a lower income, absolutely under threat.
12:03:29 If you don't live in a safe neighbourhood, constantly under threat, food poverty constantly under threat.
12:03:35 You live in a place where you can't access, you know, certain types of cat under threat.
12:03:42 Your job's always on the line under threat like I mean there's plenty of ways to be under threat But there are certain people who are always going to be under threat.
12:03:52 And I'm speaking to those people in particular, but this of course relates to everybody. And when you're experiencing chronic threat.
12:04:01 Then you will often find yourself either hyper aroused or hypoaroused. And for those of you giggling, I am not talking about sexual arousal right now.
12:04:13 I'm talking about your nervous system. Is either going to be hyperaroused agitation, anxiety.
12:04:20 Irritability. Hyper-vigilance, all of those things. A small thing becomes a big thing very quickly and you never feel like you can relax you just constantly on edge or you can become high- aroused when you kind of check out and some people will be dissociating and just like I'm out of here I'm not really in it.
12:04:46 We talking about flashbacks here we're talking about flashbacks here we're talking about and people who are who are very apathetic, who feel depressed and low.
12:04:53 That's hypoarousal and then there is like a little kind of buffer zone in between where you are need a hyper or not hypo now that doesn't mean you just perfectly balanced but Think of it as kind of zones.
12:05:06 So you got the red zone, the hot zone, hyper arousal, you got the blue zone, the cold zone, the hypo arousal and you've got your green zone in between which is like the neutral zone which is the You know, sure, some days slightly higher per hour, someday slightly hopo, hypoarouse, but kind of stable and manageable.
12:05:22 And those of us who experience chronic stress, especially those of us who have experienced trauma. And we'll talk about what trauma is.
12:05:32 A moment. Those of us who have experienced trauma and those of us who are experiencing chronic stress will have a very narrow neutral zone.
12:05:39 Or green zone. Sometimes called the zone of tolerance will have a very narrow one. And so one of the I guess key.
12:05:49 Ways of managing chronic stress because we can't We can't change society, I mean, we wish we could, but we can't, is trying to make that zone.
12:06:00 Bigger. Right, because you have a very narrow zone to make it bigger, makes life a little bit more manageable.
12:06:07 And people will often call their resilience, right? I mean, I think that's just a fancy.
12:06:10 A different way, a different word to describe what I'm trying to say here. Is that a lot easier said than done, mate?
12:06:17 That's a lot easier said than done. I can hear noise. I don't know what it is.
12:06:22 Anyway. Right I've written some notes I'm like looking through. When you've experienced medical trauma.
12:06:32 So I want I want to focus in on medical trauma. I am not a trauma expert. But I do understand medical trauma to a degree.
12:06:39 And medical trauma can can sort of take lots of forms. And But I don't want to get into it too much because I think that can be quite upsetting and triggering for people but Bruma?
12:06:54 Is when you experience the stress. But you can't cope with it like it has a has it has an impact on you that you are not able to to kind of like resolve and move on from.
12:07:10 Right? So chronic stress is like your chronic you're having chronic stresses stressful events things are constantly threatening you, having chronic threats.
12:07:20 But trauma is when that threat is not something that you can cope with whether it's in your body or whether it's in your mind or whether it's in your like what to do with your resources.
12:07:32 But you just simply aren't able to process and, and like overcome the situation. Or a processor situation probably the best way to put it.
12:07:41 I'm not sure if I'm making that much sense in the moment. But. I would describe that as trauma.
12:07:45 Right, so it's not just the stress, it's the stress. And you're just not able to cope with that stress.
12:07:53 And it that impacts your brain. Trauma when you were very young has a massive impact on your brain but actually trauma at any age can impact your brain like literally can impact.
12:08:05 The physiology and the chemistry of your brain and we've got, I've got an amazing guest coming on next week.
12:08:11 I'm really excited to to bring them on and they are an expert in this and they're going to talk a little bit about kind of like the brain chemistry and our trauma impacts brain chemistry and also how we can use this knowledge and understanding to help.
12:08:24 With trauma and trauma recovery. But that's next week. Medical trauma can really like impact us.
12:08:35 We can often get stuck in a kind of that cycle. You know, whether it's hyper aroused or hyper, you know, we kind of, it's a cycle that we get stuck in and it's very difficult to get out of and it's very difficult to get out of.
12:08:46 When your hypo aroused you often are checked out And so there will be people out there that are avoiding their health care, hands up in the air.
12:08:56 I'm put my hand up because I am avoiding certain health care. There are people out there who just think, why bother?
12:09:00 Life is going to change. I've tried and you have. And that's a very valid, very valid statement to make.
12:09:07 But it's just kind of like, well, I'm kind of done with that.
12:09:10 I just, I'm not, I'm not engaging anymore. And then there are people who perhaps go the other way who are constantly worrying and thinking about their health.
12:09:23 Very hyper vigilant, very on edge all the time. Maybe if you've got a doctor's appointment coming up, you're like constantly rehearsing it in your head you're doing loads of research you know you're talking to lots of people you're almost like arming yourself for battle.
12:09:40 And Yeah, we sort of what happens is but because of those feelings, either you're kind of like Very high paralysis or your hypo arouse whenever you see a doctor that will often impact the way that the consultation goes and will often leads to more medical trauma.
12:10:00 And so that's what I mean by getting stuck in the cycle, you know, like You're already feeling pretty helpless.
12:10:05 You go in there. As a result your doctor behaves appallingly and then you leave feeling even more helpless and even more hopeless and even more apathetic.
12:10:15 Or you go in there and you're like, like you have all these questions and and things you want to talk about and then you get a bit overwhelmed and so you don't get any of the answers that you need in your doctor behaves appallingly and then you leave again with further trauma and it just makes things worse.
12:10:33 Now, notice the key thing in here is the doctor behaves appallingly, We're not making excuses for doctors and we are not taking responsibility.
12:10:43 Or our own reactions or responses to stress and trauma. Hell no. This is not, this is not our fault.
12:10:50 We didn't do anything. We're just trying to survive and doctors and I count myself as we when I talk about doctors well doctors are behaving appallingly we are the ones that are letting down we are the ones that are saying things and doing things that are unacceptable.
12:11:03 Now sometimes it's intentional and sometimes we have no idea we're doing it. It doesn't really matter because you're the ones that are getting her each time.
12:11:11 And we have a responsibility whether it's explicit or implicit anti-fat bias to deal with that.
12:11:17 And so we have no excuse. But. It's not always deliberate.
12:11:23 I'll put that out there. I don't think it matters. That's not we're not talking about that today.
12:11:26 What we're talking about is the fact that the problem lies with the medical care you're receiving.
12:11:32 And with society as a whole. But it is impacting you as an individual. You are the one that is experiencing the stress.
12:11:41 Chronic stress. Chronic threats. And oftentimes the medical trauma.
12:11:51 Now. I'm not gonna, I'm not going to tell you how to fix that.
12:11:55 Okay. I don't know. There's, I mean, like, all a sudden, I don't know in a way that I can share.
12:12:03 In the last few minutes of the podcast. One of the things that I am that I teach and take your power back and this is just a small part of it is something that we deal with in much more detail.
12:12:16 Is, to talk about kind of like a the kind of the pattern or the, yeah, the groove that you tend to follow, the pattern you tend to follow, which is that it starts with a trigger and it's really useful to to.
12:12:34 Become aware of what those triggers are because they're individual for everybody. So it could be a certain thing that someone says or implies it could be a particular action, it could be a particular facial expression that could remind you of something like it'll be all sorts of things but there's often time triggers and it's really helpful to note them down.
12:12:52 So that you actually know what you're dealing with. So that you can kind of Begin to understand and almost anticipate.
12:13:01 Hang on a second. They just got and done that. I know what my emotional response is going to be.
12:13:04 But that's kind of like. Advanced. We're talking like One I want right now.
12:13:10 When you experience that trigger the first thing will happen is you will experience an emotion and that might be something that you feel in your body and I'm not aware of so it can be felt.
12:13:19 Oftentimes much more than you actually recognise them what the emotion is. S you'll often feel like fear is a classic example.
12:13:27 You know what fear feels like, right? Like if I ask you to describe fear, what does it feel like in your body?
12:13:32 You could probably all tell me. So you will feel that in your body. And if you were to take a moment, if you had a moment, you would be able to sit down and be like, what is the emotion I'm feeling right now?
12:13:44 And then When you begin to notice what that emotion is, you'll also begin to understand what the emotional message is.
12:13:54 And I really think it's important to understand that every emotion is exists. With a purpose. So like fear.
12:14:01 Is a very important emotion, keeps you safe, right? Anger, really important emotion. Helps you to well helps you in multitude of ways.
12:14:13 Guilt. Guilt is a really important emotion. Who is that? To to basically stop you from behaving in a way that could Can I isolate you or could sort of Yeah, it's kind of exile you from communities, right?
12:14:33 There are certain things that we know we shouldn't do like stealing. So when you steal something, you will feel guilt.
12:14:42 That will be the natural emotion. So it's got a good purpose. All of them do.
12:14:46 The problem is that they should be fleeting. You should feel an emotion like fear and then each but okay spread dealt with now I'm safe.
12:14:55 But if you're never safe, then fear never turns off. Anger. Anger should be a way of expressing how you feel.
12:15:03 It should be a way of like understanding, you know, aga is usually because you're being threatened or harmed in some way.
12:15:08 It's fine. But it shouldn't, it shouldn't linger. She should be like, I'm angry.
12:15:12 It's out, announced on. Guilt should be telling you, don't do that thing.
12:15:20 But that's it. Then you should just either do the thing or not do the thing or not do the thing that should be the end of it like you shouldn't be living with guilt shame Shame is emotional messages.
12:15:28 There's something wrong with you. Gil is saying you're doing something wrong. It's your actions.
12:15:33 Shame is there's something wrong with you. If you're walking around carrying shame all the time Like that is not, and that's not healthy, that's not good for you.
12:15:46 So there's that emotion message. Which is supposed to be helpful, but oftentimes.
12:15:51 Isn't because We don't have the opportunity to just. Deal with the situation. It's always there.
12:15:59 It's a constant threat. And then of course, like once you've experienced that emotion and the emotion message, because you feel the emotion and the message is telling you like, you know, for example, Be afraid.
12:16:11 You're under threat. Then you act or not act? Accordingly, right? We've talked about the 5 F's for fear, you know, the like when you experience fear or threat, like you are going to act.
12:16:23 Or not acts, you're going to fight or fly or freeze or phone or flop. And and All like it's just it's a pattern And it is possible to to disrupt those patterns, especially if they're like
12:16:41 Familiar patterns that you just like you've always kind of felt yourself Going the same way and you don't like that and you want and be able to handle a situation a different way but like I said I'm not an expert on that And I just Think it's helpful.
12:16:57 But when you're thinking like when you're reflecting on a medical appointment or you're thinking about a past appointment or you're worried about a future appointment.
12:17:05 To think about, all right, what was said. What was the trigger? What was the emotion? Where did I feel it and describe where you felt it in your body?
12:17:15 Did you feel it in your gut? Did you feel it in your shoulders? Did you feel it in your jaw?
12:17:19 Where did you feel in your body? What was the emotion? And if you struggle to find words for emotions which I really used to like there are like sheets out there like give you all different words.
12:17:31 To describe emotions if you're someone who hasn't had the opportunity to process in emotions, especially as a child, weren't given that kind of support and knowledge.
12:17:40 You might really struggle to even identify what the emotion is. So there are like resources out there that help.
12:17:46 And there's one particular app that I really like and I will put in the show notes because I think it's really great.
12:17:53 But then start to like analyze, okay, well what was that emotion telling me? Like the fear, what was it telling me?
12:18:01 Like I'm under threat? I'm under fire and what would it tell me? And then how did I act?
12:18:07 And this is not because I want to change it, I just want you to start to explore it if you want to.
12:18:13 Or this is certainly what I teach and take your power back. That's like, let's start exploring these things.
12:18:21 I think that's all I wanted to say for today, I am going to leave the next the next podcast or 2 I think maybe there might be 2 or podcasts out this depends but certainly next week and's gonna be coming and joining us and talking a little bit more about.
12:18:38 How do you recover from trauma, how to manage these threats? Especially when it comes to being living or existing in a marginalized body.
12:18:50 I hope you found that useful. I'd love to hear your feedback. And some of you will be listening to this and being like, you know.
12:18:56 I've been, yeah, I've studied this for years, I have a PhD in this, like I'm an expert, so feel free to comment and to share your feedback with me.
12:19:04 I'm always willing to learn and to listen. And thank you for joining me. We will be back next week or Wednesdays as usual.
12:19:14 I think, and shrinkable will already started. But don't forget take your power back.
12:19:21 That is now something that you can access any time. I have condensed all of the modules and the videos and everything into a into like a self-paced course.
12:19:33 And when you join you also get 6 months of membership in the waiting room so you'll get access to monthly calls with me as well.
12:19:41 And which we called checkups because you know, if we doctor for a checkup, you get it, you understand why I call it that.
12:19:48 I've probably talked about this before. But yeah, so you can do take your power back and you can do these modules and there's plenty more like this is only a small part of what I talk about and then we can discuss it during our checkups.
12:20:01 So that's really easy to find. Just go to our website, that.co.uk and then go to courses.
12:20:08 Go to take power back. There it is. Very obvious, very easy to find. And you can't join unshrinkable because it started already, but Maybe next time.
12:20:19 And don't forget, you know, all these courses have been all well and good, but you can also just book an appointment with me.
12:20:26 I am. Deal with this stuff quite often and if you're really struggling and you would like to speak to a doctor that is going to validate you and is going to give you the time of the space and isn't going to cause any trauma.
12:20:39 You can spend an entire hour with me and I promise you that I will be good. And not cause harm.
12:20:48 I operate from a very trauma-informed, intersectional perspective. Very used to dealing with clients with complex medical needs.
12:21:00 And complex social and family histories when you have a consultation with me we don't just kind of talk for an hour, we do that.
12:21:09 That's the most important part. But I also, write up a summary. And a lot of people find these summaries really helpful because you don't remember everything that you discuss with your doctor and so it's nice to have something to look back on.
12:21:22 And you know we talk about like You're needs going forwards, how you can address those needs, etc, etc.
12:21:30 It's all written down for you. So you don't have to take notes and you don't have to think back.
12:21:35 You can also book a consultation with me on my website. You can do anything on my website really.
12:21:41 Alright, I've read out things to say and it's been 40 min. You must be tired of listening to my voice.
12:21:45 So See you next time, folks.