Asher Takes His Power Back Part 2

Following on from last week, Asher tells the GMC exactly what he thinks of them and why doctors should be focussing on tackling, prejudice, discrimination and injustice as opposed to protecting their own. You can read Asher's open letter to the GMC here. 

Got a question for the next podcast? Let me know!

Connect With Me

• WEEKLY NEWSLETTER: Get a free script when you sign up
• THE WEIGHTING ROOM: Community with a neurodivergent flavour. **BOOK CLUB** exclusive to Weighting Room members. 
• CONSULTATION: For the ultimate transformation in your healthcare journey
• MASTERCLASS LIBRARY: Become an expert in your condition and the weight inclusive ways to manage it
• FREE GUIDES:Evidence-based, not diet nonsense

Find me on Instagram, YouTube, and LinkedIn.

Transcript

00:00:03.000 --> 00:00:09.000
Episode 8. Season 4 of the fat doctor podcast. I'm going to warn you now.

00:00:09.000 --> 00:00:14.000
This is going to be a bit a bit raw, a bit real.

00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:18.000
Yeah, hopefully you've listened to the episode 7 if you haven't, then this is going to be completely utterly out of context for you.

00:00:18.000 --> 00:00:27.000
So I suggest you stop now. Go check out I've said 7 first and then come back to me.

00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:34.000
If you're watching me on YouTube yeah. You'll see my face. If not, you'll probably hear it in my voice.

00:00:34.000 --> 00:00:41.000
It's gonna be a painful one for me. Remember yes last week I talked about how I was gonna take in my power back.

00:00:41.000 --> 00:00:46.000
I realized that to take my power back I had to tell my story and this is often the case when you've been traumatized.

00:00:46.000 --> 00:00:50.000
The way to take your power back is to tell your story for 2 reasons. Number one, it brings it out into the open.

00:00:50.000 --> 00:00:56.000
And then we'll shame no more secret, no more hidden in the shadows. And number 2.

00:00:56.000 --> 00:01:07.000
This story is an important story. And It's how I'm going to quote how I'm coping and how I'm processing the trauma.

00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:12.000
So without further ado, let's get into it.

00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:21.000
I'm gonna talk about how the GMCs investigation of me has affected me as a person as a doctor.

00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:26.000
And I want to just put this out there right now. Content warning. This is going to be a dizzy.

00:01:26.000 --> 00:01:34.000
I will be talking about fat phobia. I will be talking about transphobia and I will be talking about suicide and depression.

00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:42.000
If that's not your thing, if you're not ready for that, then skip this episode, please, because I'm not gonna hold back.

00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:57.000
So I wanna tell you where it will begin. Up until 2,020 I was a I wasn't just a doctor I was an appraiser which means that I was part of the sort of doctor appraisal and revalidation process.

00:01:57.000 --> 00:02:02.000
I was the one that was appraising other people. That's to mean I didn't get prisoners on my own, of course I did.

00:02:02.000 --> 00:02:07.000
But the appraisal process basically is once a year you have an appraisal with an appraiser.

00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:13.000
And you discuss basically everything that is important and relevant to your fitness to practice and then. Sign a document and there's also a few other things you have to do.

00:02:13.000 --> 00:02:21.000
During a five-year cycle and then every 5 years you are revalidated, which means you are your licensed practice.

00:02:21.000 --> 00:02:28.000
Medicine is renewed. That's how it works in the UK. Up until 2020, I wasn't.

00:02:28.000 --> 00:02:44.000
Talking about weight stigma and I had no problems. I was successful. I had a job had colleagues who I would say love me but you know got on me well when my colleagues never had any issues always got you have to do lots of them get lots of feedback from patients and colleagues always had really good feedback from them.

00:02:44.000 --> 00:03:05.000
Life was great as far as I was concerned. And then, 2,020 happened and as many of you know, that's when I start waiting, writing a weight loss blog which turned into Tuck me dieting really sucks blog which turned into a hey did you know that you don't need a diet blog which turned into a diets really don't work let's try something different blog which turned into a, has anyone had a

00:03:05.000 --> 00:03:12.000
medical rate stigma? Blog and it's gone on from there. Now we have podcasts and we have.

00:03:12.000 --> 00:03:29.000
1 one but 2 but now the third Instagram account I am on tech talk Facebook I was on Twitter, I stopped being on Twitter as a result of the being inundated with hate posts, especially when a certain individual took over Twitter and it all went to hell.

00:03:29.000 --> 00:03:30.000
So I'm not on Twitter anymore but it used to be. On TikTok, did I say that? Everywhere.

00:03:30.000 --> 00:03:35.000
Hey, I mean on YouTube. What's up you 2 peeps? I think they're like 10 of you.

00:03:35.000 --> 00:03:47.000
And hmm, so. During that point in during that time so the Everything was great and then the GMC came along and got involved.

00:03:47.000 --> 00:03:55.000
Once I turned into a, went from my hay. Wait loss is great persona too. Hey, wait's lost sucks, Pasodo.

00:03:55.000 --> 00:04:03.000
And the reason that the GMC got involved is they don't know who I am is because people complained about me and people complain about me all the time as you can imagine people who don't like what I have to say.

00:04:03.000 --> 00:04:11.000
Will threaten me with report reporting me to the GMC because they know that threatening my livelihood is a way to silence me.

00:04:11.000 --> 00:04:20.000
And those of you know me know that I won't be silenced. So whenever people threaten me, I'm like here you go, my GMC number is 6, 0, 7, 7, 5, 6, 7.

00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:25.000
I publish it everywhere so that if you want to complain against me, it's very easy for you to do.

00:04:25.000 --> 00:04:37.000
I'm sorry they did and it started off I think in 2021. Our very well-known doctor on, on social media is Australian, then white.

00:04:37.000 --> 00:04:44.000
You know. Weight loss. She put in a complaint against me someone else when they come play against me.

00:04:44.000 --> 00:04:48.000
I think all about my social media posts. Medical misinformation, yadda yadda, right?

00:04:48.000 --> 00:04:59.000
So the GMC. Wrote to me for the first time back in 2,021 saying We're not going to we're not going to investigate you but you've done something bad you must discuss it with your responsible officer.

00:04:59.000 --> 00:05:06.000
During your next. Appraisal. At this point in time, I was like, okay, I was very upset.

00:05:06.000 --> 00:05:17.000
I didn't think it was fair, but I discussed it with my responsible officer and we did the appraisal, it was fine and I had very positive appraisal and there was no further action taken.

00:05:17.000 --> 00:05:25.000
And then all of this stuff happened as you heard what happened to me. In 2022 And since then.

00:05:25.000 --> 00:05:29.000
This thing has been hanging over my head.

00:05:29.000 --> 00:05:47.000
During that period of time I wrote a formal complaint. To the GMC. After complaining on multiple occasions but they're not taking me seriously I wrote a formal complaint to the GMC, stating that I believe I had been discriminated against.

00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:58.000
Right. And I've not got in front of me. Same video. I'll like try and get it up.

00:05:58.000 --> 00:06:07.000
While simultaneously doing this. And that's not my work, is it? Oh. Oh dear, oh lord.

00:06:07.000 --> 00:06:15.000
Okay, anyway, I wrote a letter of complaint. To the GMC. And it was 5 pages long and I'm not going to read it all to you.

00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:20.000
But my main complaints is a summary of my complaint. I believe I'm being discriminated against because of my gender.

00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:33.000
I'm transgender and my sexual orientation. I am LGBTQ. I believe I am being discriminated against because of my weight and my views about weight I believe I'm being discriminated against because of my views about race.

00:06:33.000 --> 00:06:40.000
I believe that the GMC is conspiring with those who are using my license to practice as a means of bullying and harassing me.

00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:52.000
For the 3 a, aforementioned reasons. It was a long fucking complaint and you can read it if you want because As I said, I'm making all of this stuff public.

00:06:52.000 --> 00:07:07.000
You can also read the Chancy's response to my complaint. Which is also very important to read because they basically turn around and say Like we hear what you're saying.

00:07:07.000 --> 00:07:14.000
And, you know, it's pretty bad, but tough.

00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:23.000
Which isn't great. You know, we'll pass your comments on and We hear you, but no.

00:07:23.000 --> 00:07:28.000
And so it was very unsatisfactory response, but I bet a lot of you can relate to that, right?

00:07:28.000 --> 00:07:33.000
How many times have you written a complete letter to a doctor or a you know medical professional and being fobed off.

00:07:33.000 --> 00:07:38.000
Oh we are sorry you were upset but. Will pass your, will pass your feedback on. Thanks very much.

00:07:38.000 --> 00:07:45.000
And that's the end of it. So. When did I write that? Oh, should should be able to tell you.

00:07:45.000 --> 00:07:51.000
I think it was after the Rule 12 decision, which from what I can remember is November, 2,022.

00:07:51.000 --> 00:08:00.000
No. Eleventh of January, 2023. That's when I wrote it and I got the response in the eleventh on the Twentieth January, 2023.

00:08:00.000 --> 00:08:07.000
So about a year ago now. And that was the end of it. So.

00:08:07.000 --> 00:08:23.000
This this has been a really long drawn out process for me just to remind you of the timeline in 2,021 I received the first set of complaints which the GMC decided they wouldn't act on, but I need to discuss with my responsible officer in May, April and May, 2020.

00:08:23.000 --> 00:08:33.000
2, so a year later. I received my second 2 complaints that the GMC, again, ruled that didn't require further action.

00:08:33.000 --> 00:08:52.000
But there would be, discussed. Needs to be discussed with my responsible officer. Then later on that year I received notice that they were going to look into it that they were going to review whether or not to open another investigation into me and then in November 22 they decided that they were going to open another investigation into me.

00:08:52.000 --> 00:08:57.000
And then in November, 22, they decided that they were going to open another investigation into me. And then in November, 22, they decided that they were going to open an investigation into my fitness practice.

00:08:57.000 --> 00:09:10.000
And then I waited until November, 2,023 until they actually opened an investigation into my finished practice and then finally in January, 2,024, I was told that I was going to receive a formal warning for being racist.

00:09:10.000 --> 00:09:18.000
And, and, and discriminating against people because of their gender and the sexual orientation based on 2 tweets.

00:09:18.000 --> 00:09:21.000
Out of the however many.

00:09:21.000 --> 00:09:36.000
So I want to talk about how this has impacted me. Because this is my fucking story and this is my fucking podcast and I'm going to talk about how it impacted me and I'm gonna swear and I'm gonna say whatever I want because it's my story.

00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:46.000
But who? Not gonna cry. That's I'm definitely not gonna do that. To begin with it has impacted me physically and I'm going to talk about that because it's probably the least important thing.

00:09:46.000 --> 00:09:54.000
Impacted me physically because it has caused a lot of damage to my body. For those who don't know, chronic stress causes inflammation.

00:09:54.000 --> 00:10:00.000
And inflammation messes with your body and I have seen the physical manifestation when it comes to my own personal health.

00:10:00.000 --> 00:10:06.000
Things like my Excel has been really bad the last couple of years and I've not been able to get on top of it.

00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:22.000
It's impacted my blood sugar. And it's impacted my ability to sleep, it is impacted, it's caused halmoral imbalances in me and it's it's exacerbated a lot of the underlying issues that I had going on, for example, I'm heading towards perimenopause.

00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:23.000
Well, heading towards parent menopause sucks, but when you're chronically stressed, it's even worse.

00:10:23.000 --> 00:10:35.000
So physically it has impacted me, but that's the least. Of my issues. I want to talk about how it's impacted me.

00:10:35.000 --> 00:10:41.000
Socially I guess. In 2,022 I had a job. I had a whole bunch of colleagues.

00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:56.000
Who supporters me, who cared about me. By 20,02020 by 2022 I don't have a single person left in my corner I like literally every single one of my colleagues has abandoned me.

00:10:56.000 --> 00:11:03.000
They refuse to write references for me. They refuse to acknowledge me. They talked shit about me behind my back.

00:11:03.000 --> 00:11:13.000
I haven't been able to get onto the performers list. So when I moved to Scotland, I'm moved from England to Scotland and therefore I had to get onto a list saying that can be a doctor in Scotland.

00:11:13.000 --> 00:11:20.000
And in order to do that I need references from my previous employers. They just refuse to give me one.

00:11:20.000 --> 00:11:27.000
I feel endless. And you know what? I am so lucky to have you.

00:11:27.000 --> 00:11:33.000
I'm so fortunate to have this incredible community who has come through for me. Time and time again.

00:11:33.000 --> 00:11:39.000
But this has impacted me socially.

00:11:39.000 --> 00:11:45.000
It's impacted me financially, folks. 2,000, and 22 is 23.

00:11:45.000 --> 00:11:50.000
If I just find my tax return, 30 first of January, I found my tax return for 2022 to 2,023 from.

00:11:50.000 --> 00:11:58.000
April to April, right? And I'm made in total. 5,713 pounds that year.

00:11:58.000 --> 00:12:01.000
That's how much money I made.

00:12:01.000 --> 00:12:11.000
I basically had to eat into my savings. The only way we've managed to survive my husband is disabled and he is not able to work and will never be able to work again.

00:12:11.000 --> 00:12:21.000
In Dentist Street as a dentist. And so he, is not earning any income and I have been the sole owner and will continue to be the soul early for the rest of our lives.

00:12:21.000 --> 00:12:28.000
I when I went off sick originally I went off stick with stress and burnout that was back in 21.

00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:36.000
And that was actually Partly to do with the GMC, but actually at the time it was more to do with burnout, COVID and the fact that 2 out of my 3 children were in and out of hospital.

00:12:36.000 --> 00:12:46.000
I don't know how many times were in and out of hospital. I don't know how many times went into hospital, but I think it was 18 or 20 times in one year.

00:12:46.000 --> 00:12:52.000
We were in an out It was a lot. I was having a really difficult time and so that's why I went off, sick to begin with.

00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:59.000
But then all of this happened and I was planning to go back to work because I didn't have any sick pay and I need to make money.

00:12:59.000 --> 00:13:13.000
And I couldn't because of this because of how this impacted me mentally and emotionally which I will talk about in a minute but it has impacted my bottom line now I'm not saying this so you feel sorry for me I am perfectly aware of the fact how how lucky I am.

00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:20.000
That I had enough savings. That I could survive and that I could feed my family and protect my family the last couple of years.

00:13:20.000 --> 00:13:24.000
People if they lost their job, that would be the end of them, right? Like they would be homeless.

00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:35.000
I'm not homeless. I'm perfectly aware of the fact how privileged I am and I'm not complaining about it but to, to, to get, you know, to, to get to this place that we're in right now.

00:13:35.000 --> 00:13:43.000
We had to Sell our house. You know, spend, you know, eat into our savings, take out loans.

00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:52.000
Etc, etc. So it's impacted me financially. But really, The main thing has been how it's impacted me emotionally.

00:13:52.000 --> 00:13:55.000
And mentally.

00:13:55.000 --> 00:13:59.000
I'm gonna describe something now.

00:13:59.000 --> 00:14:06.000
I don't know how many people can relate. The word that comes to mind is dread. The feeling of dread.

00:14:06.000 --> 00:14:11.000
Do you do you know what I'm talking about here folks?

00:14:11.000 --> 00:14:20.000
When I was, I was about 9 or 10. My dad locked me in. A spare bedroom of my grandmother's house.

00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:28.000
And beat the shit out of me. And I remember this very, very well. It's a very strong memory of mine.

00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:36.000
Not the first or the last time he beat me. He was physically abusive, but He hit me so hard that I ended up on the floor.

00:14:36.000 --> 00:14:49.000
And then he started kicking me and he was kicking me in my gut and I was protecting my head and then when he started kicking my my gut I think automatically I try to protect my torso and protect my gut.

00:14:49.000 --> 00:14:57.000
And then I watched his but coming towards my head. And in that moment, it was slowed down in my mind anyway, certainly my memories.

00:14:57.000 --> 00:15:09.000
It was slowed down. I remember looking him in the eye in that moment and he had. This maniacal look on him at the It was a movie that came out.

00:15:09.000 --> 00:15:15.000
Cool, I can't remember it with Jessica Rabbit in.

00:15:15.000 --> 00:15:26.000
I can't remember. But anyway, there's this character in it that's got like these eyes that like go around they're really creepy I just remember this from my childhood you probably don't even know what I'm talking about but and the look was like you quick and terrifying in the moment.

00:15:26.000 --> 00:15:31.000
I remember thinking, oh shit, he's going to kill me. I'm going to die, this is it.

00:15:31.000 --> 00:15:35.000
I'm dying. I was 9, 10, and I thought I was going to die. On the floor of a spare bedroom.

00:15:35.000 --> 00:15:54.000
I'm my grandmother's house. That was dread and that feeling of dread. The way it impacts my body how I feel in my body and I can't quite describe it it is these intense gripping fear it's not fear it's fear times a thousand And I keep that.

00:15:54.000 --> 00:16:02.000
I hold this experience. Feeling in my body and I have done for my whole entire life. That's dread.

00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:06.000
Every time I see an email from the GMC That's what happens to my body. My body is filled with the same dread.

00:16:06.000 --> 00:16:16.000
Now I know. Logically, that the GMC don't have the power to actually kill me.

00:16:16.000 --> 00:16:23.000
I know, you know, at the time I believed my dad was going to kill me and that's the feeling in the sensation I get and I know that it's not actually like you're about to die fear.

00:16:23.000 --> 00:16:29.000
Like, you know, it's not that serious, but it feels the same way in my body.

00:16:29.000 --> 00:16:43.000
And it takes me weeks. To recover every single time. Weeks. When I think about what's happening, like the fear, the dread, this part of me.

00:16:43.000 --> 00:16:53.000
You know. It just is overwhelming. And I can't explain to you the impact that's had on me.

00:16:53.000 --> 00:17:03.000
I struggle with depression and anxiety and I have done for a really long time. From my childhood, I had a very traumatic childhood.

00:17:03.000 --> 00:17:16.000
The first time, well, I had I had depression and anxiety when I was a teenager. And I had it all through My twenties and then I had postpartum depression.

00:17:16.000 --> 00:17:22.000
Which was not diagnosed, not until my third child. And even then it wasn't properly diagnosed.

00:17:22.000 --> 00:17:31.000
My postpart in depression was a different, like it felt different to normal depression or my normal depression, what depression normally feels like for me.

00:17:31.000 --> 00:17:48.000
In that I was plagued with. Terrifying thoughts with these like paranoid thoughts that something's gonna happen to baby, I'm gonna harm the baby, I'm gonna drop the baby, the baby's gonna fall out my arms down the stairs like There was death.

00:17:48.000 --> 00:18:00.000
Constant fear of death. So lots of paranoid feelings are really heightened anxiety. More than the kind of apathy that I would get normally with the depression.

00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:07.000
So I'd had a miscarriage and I remember like when I had the miscarriage I just couldn't even get a bed you know it was just I literally didn't get that bad for 2 weeks.

00:18:07.000 --> 00:18:21.000
So, just couldn't physically after that you know it was it was grief it was trauma and even normally with depression and when I'm having periods of depression I'm usually quite So of not quite with it, you know, I'm just I'm very distant.

00:18:21.000 --> 00:18:25.000
I dissociate a lot. I'm very subdued. I don't get particularly anxious.

00:18:25.000 --> 00:18:40.000
But in these situations, when I'm filled with this dread. Kind of like when I was postpartum and like every time I read an email from the GMC, I go over into overdrive, overstimulated rather than under-stimulated.

00:18:40.000 --> 00:18:51.000
So there's all this anxiety, I can't sleep, I can't think, I can't concentrate, I can't do anything, I am constantly repeating it over and over and over and over and over again in my head.

00:18:51.000 --> 00:19:02.000
I feel powerless. I feel Like, what's the point? I feel useless and embarrassed and ashamed and guilty and scared and angry.

00:19:02.000 --> 00:19:08.000
And yeah. I'll be honest, there are times when I might cross the point.

00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:17.000
That's time. I tried to take my life. I was 17. I've made several attempts since then.

00:19:17.000 --> 00:19:32.000
I have to say. Much less so over the last 10 years I have been plagued with suicidal thoughts and I often am in the same way that when I had postpartum depression I was plagued with paranoid thoughts about my children.

00:19:32.000 --> 00:19:52.000
But these weren't like, I didn't, you know, these were thoughts that came into my head in the same way I am plagued with thoughts of suicide and when when this stuff troubles me when I begin to feel it in my body my brain automatically says you're useless it's your fucking thought why didn't you see this coming why did you get yourself into the situation it's all your fault You

00:19:52.000 --> 00:20:00.000
should be ashamed of yourself. You're good for nothing. You're a lousy doctor, you're a lousy person, you're, you know, look at what's going to happen, what's going to happen to your family, you're going to have no money, you're going to be home homeless.

00:20:00.000 --> 00:20:08.000
You know, all these thoughts over and over and over again in my head and they don't stop they don't stop they don't stop in every few months.

00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:21.000
The GMC starts it all over again. It's took them a ye. Between telling me I was going to have a fitness to practice investigation to giving me one a whole year where I lived with it hanging out in my head.

00:20:21.000 --> 00:20:30.000
Another 3 months before they actually told me what happened. And is still ongoing because I'm not going to accept this fucking warning.

00:20:30.000 --> 00:20:35.000
Hell no. So it's going to keep going. I don't have any legal support.

00:20:35.000 --> 00:20:39.000
I don't have a single colleague I can turn to. There's nothing and nobody. That I can reach out to.

00:20:39.000 --> 00:20:46.000
These Gareth, my investigation officer, when he spoke to me, the first time I spoke to him, which would be back in November last year, act hysterical.

00:20:46.000 --> 00:20:52.000
It's hysterical. Like I, I tried to hold it in, I couldn't, I was hysterical.

00:20:52.000 --> 00:20:55.000
Like I, I, I tried to hold it in, I couldn't, I became hysterical.

00:20:55.000 --> 00:21:00.000
I hate that word because it's of its misogynistic connotations but I don't know how to describe it.

00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:09.000
I couldn't control myself. I was weeping and I was just saying the first thing that came my mind and I was telling him I'm suicidal like I am having suicidal thoughts because of because of all of this because of what you put me through.

00:21:09.000 --> 00:21:14.000
And there was the kind of very patronising placating, oh, I really care about you, Dr. Lyme.

00:21:14.000 --> 00:21:22.000
You're fucking know you don't. Because when you finally had to send me the email to tell me the thing, you did it on a Friday, 4 min before you left.

00:21:22.000 --> 00:21:28.000
Weekend. You don't care about me, you deliberately waited until that time to do what you did.

00:21:28.000 --> 00:21:29.000
But whatever, he said he cared about me and you know what he told me and this was incredible.

00:21:29.000 --> 00:21:37.000
He said to me, I'm Listen, I'm, I used to work for the police.

00:21:37.000 --> 00:21:49.000
I promise you I'm on your side. And he said that with absolutely no irony. Hey genuinely thought that being an A former police officer or a member of the police force would reassure me in some way.

00:21:49.000 --> 00:21:56.000
I'm thinking less. You really don't get it, do you? You don't, you don't get it.

00:21:56.000 --> 00:22:03.000
None of you get it. I wanna do something right now. You might not like this. And content warning.

00:22:03.000 --> 00:22:08.000
Times a million. I've got to bring up this document now. I'm gonna read you some of the hate mail.

00:22:08.000 --> 00:22:13.000
This is a document that I sent to the GMC to explain to them what it's like.

00:22:13.000 --> 00:22:24.000
To be. An Asian Jewish. Queer, trans, fat person. On the internet.

00:22:24.000 --> 00:22:28.000
Gan Doors says, oh I've got to bring it up. Let me, here we go.

00:22:28.000 --> 00:22:36.000
Dan Door says. You're a fucking disgraceful Charlottean. All right, done.

00:22:36.000 --> 00:22:46.000
I mean, kudos, you know. They. Oh no, is that it? Okay.

00:22:46.000 --> 00:22:53.000
I've got, I know I can't find it.

00:22:53.000 --> 00:23:04.000
Oh dear me, well, I'll have to come back to it. Maybe I'll do an entire They all do an entire podcast where I've just read through all of the nasty messages people ever sent me.

00:23:04.000 --> 00:23:06.000
Maybe I'll just do that. Just for shit again, we can make fun of them together. Maybe that's what I'll do.

00:23:06.000 --> 00:23:14.000
But anyway, that was just one of the many things. That's actually nothing like some of the hate mail I've got.

00:23:14.000 --> 00:23:19.000
I am called a Shebrew. That's that I've been calling that more than once people make reference to my nose.

00:23:19.000 --> 00:23:27.000
They say I look like Danny Devito as the penguin in Batman. They make as many transphobic comments as they can.

00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:31.000
They know that they're very clever nowadays. There's certain words they can't use.

00:23:31.000 --> 00:23:45.000
So they use different words instead. I have been cold every name under the sun and you all know it like just go check out my posts especially on Facebook and they're incredible, like the things people say about me with no, I mean this is why I took down Twitter because Twitter is not doing anything about it.

00:23:45.000 --> 00:24:03.000
People were, you know, sending me like Nazi. Propaganda and and and all sorts of things it was it was really quite shocking and what I've realised is a lot of the people who hate me because I'm trans also hate because I'm Jewish.

00:24:03.000 --> 00:24:08.000
But yeah. That didn't work out because I thought I had all the information in front of me but I didn't.

00:24:08.000 --> 00:24:11.000
Whoops. Never mind. These things happen. Let's move on.

00:24:11.000 --> 00:24:23.000
So the GMC. Their investigation into me. Caused me no end of distress.

00:24:23.000 --> 00:24:27.000
But they would argue, yeah, but you know, we're a professional body. We're a regulatory body and it's our job.

00:24:27.000 --> 00:24:34.000
You know, your feelings don't come. Above patient safety. That's what they'll tell you and they're right. And I agree with that.

00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:46.000
Like if I had genuinely done something wrong. I would argue sure but if you remember going back to the original findings following the complaints.

00:24:46.000 --> 00:24:55.000
The the finance are very clear look sure Dr. Lammy says things you didn't like but they don't warrant an investigation into their fitness practice.

00:24:55.000 --> 00:25:05.000
Sure, you think that's medical misinformation, but you know, there are studies and it's not our job to decide whether those studies are right or wrong.

00:25:05.000 --> 00:25:10.000
You might not like the things that Dr. Lamy has said, but we are not here to defend you.

00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:19.000
Against libel, that's if you believe that you're being defamed if you believe it, it's libel then, call a lawyer.

00:25:19.000 --> 00:25:20.000
So I think that that was reasonable. I don't know you, but I think that was reasonable.

00:25:20.000 --> 00:25:37.000
Notice that they started investigating me because the follow-up was Yeah, but she He, they in, in speech marks, what else did they call me?

00:25:37.000 --> 00:25:48.000
Designated female designated male. Is racist.

00:25:48.000 --> 00:25:59.000
Looking on on white thin people. And all of a sudden. The GMC decides. Time to investigate.

00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:09.000
And they openly state. That I am. That I am. Bringing the profession into disrepute.

00:26:09.000 --> 00:26:17.000
Because I am standing up. Against white supremacy, openly and publicly. In my own way, sure I don't get right 100% of the time.

00:26:17.000 --> 00:26:21.000
I'm sure I say things that I shouldn't say. I'm too inflammatory.

00:26:21.000 --> 00:26:37.000
I'm I'm too much sometimes. I get that. Because I am standing up to people whom I have a real genuine concern about I'm not going into the details of complaints, but as I said, I stand by everything I said.

00:26:37.000 --> 00:26:43.000
They're investigating me because they say I discriminate. And I'm not safe again with my patients.

00:26:43.000 --> 00:26:52.000
I'm not as a result. And that I don't know how to maintain confidentiality. That's the thing that they said warranted further investigation into me.

00:26:52.000 --> 00:27:05.000
And I want to ask you now. Is that right? Because last time I checked You'll share your stories about how doctors harm you.

00:27:05.000 --> 00:27:14.000
On a daily basis the things they say and do. Nothing happens. There are doctors on the internet that are saying all sorts of things about fat people and selling weight loss.

00:27:14.000 --> 00:27:31.000
Nothing happens. There are doctors that hate fat people openly and publicly. Nothing happens. But when I say something about thin people, not thin patients, by the way, because I have a, I do not condone, condemn people who are trying to lose weight.

00:27:31.000 --> 00:27:42.000
I have a problem with thin people. I'm talking about, I'm talking about structures, systems, and if you don't know the difference, then that's not a meat problem, that's a you problem, like you need to learn the difference, you need to learn what white supremacy is.

00:27:42.000 --> 00:27:54.000
But if you like you know if if if If that's bothering you, then I would argue that's more of a you problem than a meat problem.

00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:59.000
It doesn't, it does not make me. Races and they accuse me of reverse racism.

00:27:59.000 --> 00:28:07.000
It's 2,02324 now people. And they had the audacity to recuse, accuse me of reverse racism.

00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:14.000
Using the term color, and I've said this now a couple of times. On in what?

00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:18.000
On what planet do we use the term colour?

00:28:18.000 --> 00:28:24.000
This is when I read out to my husband, he said the person who wrote that still uses the word half caste.

00:28:24.000 --> 00:28:34.000
And says colored people for one of their work. 2 massively offensive. What, right? We all know why you do not use those words.

00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:44.000
Even in the states where you say people of color. You don't say color, you say race.

00:28:44.000 --> 00:28:49.000
They had the audacity to say, I have a racism problem and they don't even know.

00:28:49.000 --> 00:28:59.000
How do you, this is a legal warning, but it is an official document. They don't understand why transgender doctor is afraid of cisgender people.

00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:05.000
They say that makes me a danger to my all my patients assist gender. I have like 0 trans patients at the moment.

00:29:05.000 --> 00:29:15.000
For the last 5 years I haven't had a single transpation. All of my patients assist gender has Any of them ever complained ever in the history of my career of me being unsafe.

00:29:15.000 --> 00:29:22.000
No! The only reason people would complain about me now is because I'm trans and they don't want to see a trans doctor.

00:29:22.000 --> 00:29:25.000
Not because I don't like cis people. I am being I don't have a single colleague standing by me.

00:29:25.000 --> 00:29:35.000
This is a society problem, not a meat problem. The idea that I break confidentiality, I'm not even gonna go there, that's disgusting.

00:29:35.000 --> 00:29:47.000
I can't believe I'm being accused of this, but. That's because the thin white people who complained against me were upset that I didn't keep their confidence, that I exposed them publicly.

00:29:47.000 --> 00:29:54.000
Apparently I'm not allowed to do that. Even though people do it all the time. I didn't, you know, I tried communicating with them.

00:29:54.000 --> 00:30:01.000
But actually sometimes when you are in a place where you are the victim, you need to say no.

00:30:01.000 --> 00:30:13.000
And in this case, when it came to one of the complainants, I was protecting another victim. I was protecting a victim, a member of the public who was being treated really badly by this particular individual.

00:30:13.000 --> 00:30:20.000
So I stepped in on Twitter. And I gave them what for and they had to listen to me because I'm a doctor.

00:30:20.000 --> 00:30:29.000
So when I say something people listen and I don't like that because it shouldn't be that way but they didn't like it either.

00:30:29.000 --> 00:30:32.000
I don't

00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:38.000
I don't feel safe. Being a doctor any more. I haven't felt safe for years.

00:30:38.000 --> 00:30:47.000
It's not safe for me to be a doctor and I've realized that I can't I can't be a doctor when the people who are responsible.

00:30:47.000 --> 00:30:58.000
For my license. Treat me the way that they have. Hold such, I would argue racist in transphobic beliefs.

00:30:58.000 --> 00:31:11.000
I don't feel safe because I worry about the future. For example, we all know what happens to people in the workplace when they spoke up about Palestine, right?

00:31:11.000 --> 00:31:17.000
We've seen countless stories of professionals, really like people who had like secured professions, people with 10 year at universities and people in positions of authorities throughout many countries.

00:31:17.000 --> 00:31:27.000
We all heard about how they were literally just dismissed from their jobs, right? I'm a Jewish person.

00:31:27.000 --> 00:31:38.000
With highest to Israel. Family who live in Israel, family who have I've cut off because of their The way that they're behaving.

00:31:38.000 --> 00:31:42.000
I'm Jewish.

00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:53.000
Speak up about Palestine. Someone wrote to me the other day, I've spent 2 h on the phone with the GMC reporting you for anti-Semitism.

00:31:53.000 --> 00:32:05.000
And, you know, part of me was like, okay then. Good luck proving a Jew is anti semitic just because they're saying free Palestine and using the word genocide pretty sure that other people agree with me so carry on.

00:32:05.000 --> 00:32:10.000
But the thing that really worried me was that, again, I can't trust the GMC to not investigate me for this.

00:32:10.000 --> 00:32:20.000
They've investigated me for less. So I don't trust them. And I think this is going to massively impact.

00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:27.000
You. And you might be thinking like this has been 2. 2 episodes now where you've basically been talking about yourself asher.

00:32:27.000 --> 00:32:33.000
Nice one. But this is why I think it's going to impact you 2 reasons. Number one, there are very few plans doctors out there.

00:32:33.000 --> 00:32:39.000
In the UK, very few of us. Disproportionately fewer trans doctors than there are trans people in the world.

00:32:39.000 --> 00:32:44.000
I don't have the exact number, but now there's one less.

00:32:44.000 --> 00:32:54.000
So Chands people do not. Trust doctors, we've got lots of evidence for that. And trans people.

00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:58.000
Need more representation within the medical profession, not less.

00:32:58.000 --> 00:33:12.000
The GMC is using its power over me. To support. Cisgender people to uphold Cis Hetero Heyriarchy.

00:33:12.000 --> 00:33:21.000
To uphold white supremacy. The using their power to do that. And as a result, There will be fewer trans Doctors, not more.

00:33:21.000 --> 00:33:28.000
So that's a real blow for trans people who need more representation rather than less. He's the other thing, if the GMC hold these views.

00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:38.000
And they're in charge of the doctors. What's going to stop them? From. From preventing doctors.

00:33:38.000 --> 00:33:47.000
From practising with these views because you know There are 4 really important fundamental pillars of medicine. One is to do what's in the best interest of your patient.

00:33:47.000 --> 00:33:53.000
The second is to do no harm. The third is to respect autonomy and the fourth is justice.

00:33:53.000 --> 00:34:02.000
And in general, in terms of general medical council, We call this section 4 probity. It's all about justice and fairness.

00:34:02.000 --> 00:34:03.000
Are you practising legally, fairly? Are you making sure that you don't discriminate against people?

00:34:03.000 --> 00:34:15.000
This is part of good medical practice. Probity. Heart of probity. Is.

00:34:15.000 --> 00:34:30.000
Is that? That is is making sure that you're sticking up for the people who are oppressed who are in march who have marginalized identities the people who don't have a voice who don't have power who have less access to health care.

00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:40.000
Your job is to advocate for them. To make sure that they are not discriminated against. And instead, if the GMC won't do it for doctors, how can we trust them?

00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:49.000
To enforce that amongst the doctors. We have a racism problem in the GMC and no doubt a transphobic problem in the GMC.

00:34:49.000 --> 00:35:03.000
We have major issues. There are significantly disproportionately larger amounts of black, brown and indigenous people being in investigated and targeted by the GMC, then there are white doctors.

00:35:03.000 --> 00:35:07.000
And we have seen cases of this if you want to go look up Dr. Bawa Garba.

00:35:07.000 --> 00:35:16.000
Classic case Muslim Black Woman. Go check out how she was treated by the GMC. We have a problem in the GMC.

00:35:16.000 --> 00:35:29.000
You have a problem. They just, won't act on it and I want to read you Now, my final complaint to the GMC was untired.

00:35:29.000 --> 00:35:32.000
After I got you on then I think the January after I got was I'm tired But I believe this ruling is a form of discrimination.

00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:46.000
And I want you to do something about it. So once again, I am. Yeah, making a complaint of discrimination.

00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:47.000
And I got a message from Paul Bridge investigation manager from the GMC on the 20 third of January.

00:35:47.000 --> 00:36:02.000
It's a day for my twentieth wedding anniversary folks just in case you're wondering. We have considered your emails under a customer complete policy.

00:36:02.000 --> 00:36:11.000
We recognize as we recognize you are unhappy with the surface you have received. If you like it.

00:36:11.000 --> 00:36:19.000
This is the first response. This purpose. I'm going to read you paragraph 4 because again it's all on the internet.

00:36:19.000 --> 00:36:26.000
As you are aware the GMC processes and procedures are underpinned by statutory guidance and legislation.

00:36:26.000 --> 00:36:32.000
All staff must all undergo mandatory equality, diversity and inclusion training and relevant staff are trained in how to identify and be aware of unconscious bias.

00:36:32.000 --> 00:36:50.000
These factors are aimed at, amongst other things, eliminating any potential discrimination. And therefore Hall Bridge.

00:36:50.000 --> 00:37:05.000
Is satisfied that there are adequate safeguards in place to ensure that individuals are not discriminated against. On any grounds.

00:37:05.000 --> 00:37:22.000
That's why I wrote. My open letter. That's why I've made these podcast episodes because I've complained, I've done everything I can in my power that I can do and they are satisfied.

00:37:22.000 --> 00:37:29.000
That there is no unconscious bias in the G.

00:37:29.000 --> 00:37:40.000
I don't know what to say about that. You decide whether you think that's true. Do you think that the GMC All safe.

00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:48.000
For black patients, for brown patients, for indigenous patients, for transgender patients. For minority ethnic patients.

00:37:48.000 --> 00:37:57.000
Are they safe for queer patients? Disabled patients, neurodivergent patients. Are they safe?

00:37:57.000 --> 00:38:12.000
Are they safe? Because they are the ones that hold our license to practice every single doctor. Has to be revalidated and appraised by someone representing the GMC.

00:38:12.000 --> 00:38:22.000
You want to know why doctors get away with fat phobia. You want to know why? I mean, we have so many statistics about medical weight stigma but you want to know why they get away with it because the GMC is doing nothing to enforce it.

00:38:22.000 --> 00:38:38.000
Medical weight stigma is wrong. According to domain 4 of good medical practice. GMC guidelines, the thing they were quoting me on, right, paragraph 65, there are many, many paragraphs before that.

00:38:38.000 --> 00:38:49.000
And where they speak specifically about discrimination. Medical weight stigma. Is a breach of duty of care in the UK explicitly.

00:38:49.000 --> 00:38:55.000
You want to know why? Doctors get away with it every day because the GMC refused to enforce it.

00:38:55.000 --> 00:39:05.000
GMC refused to enforce. Medical misogyny. Rules against medical misogyny and the GMC refuses to enforce some rules against transphobia.

00:39:05.000 --> 00:39:14.000
And racism. They will not enforce it. Because they even though they claim have no unconscious bias.

00:39:14.000 --> 00:39:21.000
Are massively biased and we know this to be the case we know that these systems are set up.

00:39:21.000 --> 00:39:32.000
Who supports? Right supremacy to uphold White supremacy. And anyone who dares challenge white supremacy in any way.

00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:46.000
Going to be attacked not not even ignored attacked Threatened. Blues their ability to work. You become unemployable.

00:39:46.000 --> 00:39:56.000
Because they dared step out of line. So you ask yourself. Where do you think? That something needs to change.

00:39:56.000 --> 00:40:03.000
Whether you think that something needs to be done. About this. I don't care any more. I can't stop them.

00:40:03.000 --> 00:40:10.000
I can't fight against them. Even if I try I don't know that I want to go through this feeling of dread anymore.

00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:16.000
I just want to be done with it. I'm going to resign my registration. My registration, my license to practice.

00:40:16.000 --> 00:40:24.000
I have to renew it in August and I'm not going to renew it. So I won't have a license to practise and I will no longer be a medical doctor.

00:40:24.000 --> 00:40:33.000
And I've made my peace with that. Cause I can't possibly work. Knowing what the GMC can do to me, I can't.

00:40:33.000 --> 00:40:39.000
I've made my peace with that so it's not personal anymore. But I need people to know what's going on.

00:40:39.000 --> 00:40:44.000
And I need people to ask themselves whether it's fair, whether it's right or whether we're going to do something about it.

00:40:44.000 --> 00:40:54.000
Whether we're going to allow doctors to continue to get away with this discrimination or whether we are finally going to do what we're supposed to have been doing this entire time.

00:40:54.000 --> 00:41:06.000
Which is putting things into place. Systems and structures into place to prevent them from happening. Putting system instructions into place that protect the most vulnerable against us.

00:41:06.000 --> 00:41:13.000
You know, if any profession is gonna do it, it needs to be the health profession. We need to lead the fucking way.

00:41:13.000 --> 00:41:28.000
We need to be the standard by which everyone follows. Because like every profession needs to do that right every part of the world needs to do that but Sortly the health care profession should be leading the way.

00:41:28.000 --> 00:41:30.000
I've said enough. I hope you join me for a much more lighthearted podcast next week.

00:41:30.000 --> 00:41:44.000
Thank you for listening and This is just gonna be a constant working progress. I'm sure I will keep people up dated and maybe I will talk about more about this in the future.

00:41:44.000 --> 00:42:03.000
But as of now, I am making this public. So that other people can see exactly. How the GMC have treated me as an individual and more importantly the beliefs and values that they hold.

00:42:03.000 --> 00:42:16.000
Thanks for listening and I'll see you next time.